Red: So, I guess this is the way an immature, engaged, high school dumbass with no car, no job and no money trims the hedges.
Hyde: That was like eight burns in one sentence.
Donna: An octo-burn. Let's get the hell out of here.

Hyde: Hey, Red, I got a question for you. My wife says she doesn't want anything for Valentine's Day. So I'm off the hook, right?
Red: Let me tell you a little story. There was a woman, a newlywed. And she told her husband, "Rather than waste money on gifts, save for retirement." And so he never bought her a gift. Not for Christmas, birthdays, never. And 50 years later, she thanked him. And you know who that woman was?
Hyde: No.
Red: That woman was the invisible dancing fairy of Dumbass Land. All women want gifts.

Eric: Oh, hey. What took you guys so long at the heart doctor's? Oh, let me guess. You had to call in a specialist just to find Dad's tiny heart.
Red: You know, we could call in a specialist to find my foot in your ass.
Hyde: "We're going to need an ass-foot-ologist, stat."

Fez: No, I cannot be in the same room with him. You and I are through. Now good day.
Kelso: But, Fez... [Fez is silent]
Jackie: Fez? He said, "But, Fez."
Fez: Oh, I heard him.
Donna: Well, now you're supposed to say... "I said good day."
Kelso: Yeah, and then we all know that you're really mad, but eventually, you'll get over it.
Fez: Oh, you'd like that. "Dance, monkey, dance." Well, Kelso, this monkey don't dance no more.
Donna: But, Fez...
Fez: I said good day! [groans]

Jackie: Why is Red so stressed? [gasps] It's a mystery. Just like when Nancy Drew had to figure out why the man in the clock tower was so mean to his cat.
Kelso: What did she find out?
Jackie: Oh, I don't know, books are too long.