[As Fez and Kelso join Red and Kitty for breakfast, Fez grabs the last sausage]
Fez: Too slow, old man.
Kelso: Fez, if you're not polite, he's gonna figure out you're living here.
Red: You're living here?
Kelso: Oh, great. You blew it, Fez.
Kitty: Red, he has nowhere else to go.
Red: Well, know this, Pele... you gotta sleep sometime. And during the war, when they were sleeping, that's when I got them. [exits]
Kitty: That wasn't too bad. He called you Pele. He is a terrific soccer player.

Kitty: How's your neck, honey?
Donna: Oh, it still hurts.
Kitty: Come over here. I'm a nurse. I know what to do. [grabs pill bottle] Take two of these.
Donna: Are you sure this is for neck pain?
Kitty: Neck pain, headaches, bad days, they take the edge off of everything.

Eric: Wait a second. This mean I'm the loser of the group now?
Kelso: You're the one that's still living with your mommy.
Eric: Man, you're still living with your mommy.
Kelso: Not for long. Me and Fez are looking for apartments. Then the only time I'll see my mom is when she's doing my laundry, cooking my meals, taking me to the dentist.

Jackie: Eric, I feel kind of bad. You wouldn't even be thinking about this kind of stuff if you weren't caught in the blinding light of my bright future.
Fez: You know, the scary thing is, if one year went by this fast, imagine where Eric is gonna be in 10 years.
[fantasy: "Eric's Crappy Future Ten Years Later":]
Eric: Thanks for going with me to the Star Trek convention, Uhura.
Donna: You can call me Donna now.
[reality:]
Kelso: That's good, Fez, but I think it's gonna be more like this.
[fantasy:]
Eric: Thanks for going with me to the Star Wars convention, Leia.
Donna: You can call me Donna now.
[reality:]
Hyde: No, man. You're both wrong. Actually, it's gonna go like this.
[fantasy:]
Eric: Thanks for going with me to the Star Wars convention, Leia.
Kitty: You can call me Mom now.
[reality:]
Eric: Whoa.
Donna: Eric, they're joking around. It's funny.
Eric: No, Donna, it's not funny. In fact... It's completely possible!

Eric: Every one of my friends has a career path except for me. Even Kelso. Kelso! The kid who thinks that NATO is Japanese for "neato."
Red: You know, it's just not fair. I mean, you sleep late, you watch TV all day. The job offers should be rolling in.
Kitty: Why don't you look into that chiropractic school I suggested? They're having an enrollment seminar. You know, a chiropractor is a very prestigious job, especially if you move someplace where they don't have real doctors.
Eric: Well, I guess chiropractor is as good as anything I've come up with. I have wasted an entire year doing absolutely nothing.
Red: Hey, how about a job stating the obvious, 'cause you're getting really good at that.

Jackie: Okay, so I just want to remind everybody about my graduation dinner party tomorrow night. Be there by 6:00 for the champagne toast.
Kelso: Free champagne? I'm in.
Fez: Free toast? I am in, too.
Hyde: Jackie, a dinner party? Can't we do something fun, like drive up to the border and throw stuff at Canadians? I mean, they never fight back 'cause they're Canadian.

Fenton: Is everything all right over... Oh, it's you.
Fez: Fenton.
Fenton: I'd shake your hand, but I'm afraid I'd catch some kind of third world herpe.
Fez: Well, that's fine, 'cause I wouldn't let you touch me with a 10-foot pole.
Fenton: Well, I wouldn't touch you with a 20-foot pole.
Fez: You don't even have a 20-foot pole.
Fenton: Maybe I'll go buy one just so I can't touch you with it.

Kelso: Fez, who is this guy?
Fez: This is Fenton. We are having a feud.
Fenton: Oh, filling out an application, hmm?
Fez: Yes. We got here first so don't even think about applying.
Fenton: I don't have to, I'm the landlord. The lord of the land. And I'm gonna lord it over you while your butts land outside. [rips application] Hmm. That was clever.
Kelso: Oh, yeah? Well, I was gonna give you this $5 to get the apartment, but now you can forget it. [rips note] That was clever.

[circle:]
Eric: Poor Donna. I think I hurt her pretty bad. Her neck's stuck, just tilted over like this. Yeah, but on the upside, it looks like she's really interested in everything I have to say.
Fez: So she's got a bad neck. Quit whining. I've gone out with girls that don't even have necks. "Hi, Fez."
Kelso: One time, this girl whipped her head around to look at me 'cause I'm hot, and her neck just snapped. And then she collapsed into the jukebox.
Hyde: Kelso, that was The Fonz.
Kelso: Well, where do you think they got it from?
Hyde: Forman, forget being a chiropractor, man. The way I see it, you're diligent, tidy and detail-oriented. So I think you should become a professional butt wiper.
Kelso: Come on, man, this is serious. Eric, you gotta start off slow. First you should be an amateur butt wiper.
Fez: What's wrong with you two? So rude. Eric, I think you should move to Paris. That way you can become a butt wipier.

Red: How'd the apartment search go?
Kitty: Not so good. They can't find anything they like.
Red: Well, how can you be picky? You lived in a jungle. Any place without a gorilla charging at you should be paradise.
Kitty: Red, I don't think he lived with gorillas. Did you? Where the blazes are you from?
Fez: Apparently, Gorilla Land.