Jonah: Henry, get all the UPTs out of the green zone. If you run into a jam, radio a 62V for a DPR, got it? All right, break!
Amy: Wow.
Jonah: Yeah.
Amy: That was impressive.
Jonah: Didn't know I had it in me.
Amy: I mean, none of it meant anything, but the confidence is inspiring.

Dina: All right, everybody, get ready. Store is set to open in exactly one minute. 60, 59...
Glenn: You don't have to say all the numbers.
Dina: 60, 61... yeah, that's right. I'm going up now.

Glenn: Okay, well, we're, uh, only five minutes in, and already the, uh, beer tower display got knocked over onto Miles, so he's gone, and aisle 12 is covered with blood and glass. But, uh, it's all... it's all good, boo. I'm keeping it 100.
Amy: That's not what that means.
Glenn: No?

Garrett: [over PA] Attention, shoppers. Cloud 9 brand tablets are half off. The Halo Fog has an HD display and boasts a battery life of about 45 minutes.

Garrett: [over PA] And then the volleyball floats away. And weirdly, you're sad about it. At least I was.

Garrett: [over PA] Da Vinci Code, too long. Bridge of Spies, too boring. I can't do this anymore. E-readers are half price. Garrett out.

Jonah: Guys! This is what Black Friday wants!
Amy: That is a family recipe with a secret ingredient.
Jonah: But this is not what Black Friday is gonna get!
Mateo: Oh, cinnamon? Boring.
Jonah: And we are gonna overcome this, because there is abso...
Glenn: Jonah? Could you please shut the [bleep] up? And that goes for all of you [bleep]. I can't listen to your [bleep] for one more [bleep] damn [bleep] second. [silence] Did something just happen? I think I blacked out there.

Cheyenne: [over PA] Attention, shoppers, the store is now closed. Not, like, "Bring your items to the front" closed. I mean, like, "Get the hell out." Thank you. Oh, also, if anyone happens to find a little green hair thing, it's mine.

Jonah: [recording] Here we go. This is the Super Bowl of retail. There's a buzz in the air, a charge that probably doesn't read on camera. Uh, but over here we have the pre-opening potluck. Every employee brings a dish, much in the spirit of sharing. Isn't that a delightful tradition, Amy?
Amy: Yeah, I love waking up at 3:00 a.m. to eat Sandra's cold spinach casserole.
Sandra: It's meant to be served cold.
Amy: Sorry.
Jonah: Okay, Garrett, any advice for my first Black Friday?
Garrett: Get that camera out my face.
Jonah: All right, not a morning person. Cheyenne, how about you? How're you feeling?
Cheyenne: I'm okay. I think I hit something with my car, but I was too tired to check.
Jonah: Well, that's alarming.

Sandra: [to a mirror in the make-up counter] You can do this. You can do this.