Leslie Knope: Do you guys remember when this all started and I came in here with the cookies, and then Craig said something so Craig and we all laughed, and we were like, "Craig!" Do you think it would be weird if we held hands? Probably.
Ron Swanson: This way, please.
Leslie Knope: Excuse me, Ron, I am talking to my best friends. Let me go! Best friends, attack Ron!

Ben: Thanks, man. I was in the zone today. This really has been a lot of fun. The old juice is back! Hey, should we keep this going? Celebratory dinner, just like the old days?
Chris: Ben, that's a great idea. Hey, you know what? I know who I'm gonna use to calculate tax and tip.
Ben: Me?
[Chris points enthusiastically at Ben]

Ron Swanson: Okay, enough is enough. What is wrong with you, woman?
Leslie Knope: I don't need to explain myself to you! I am the czar. I can do as I please. Those who cross the czar feel the wrath of the czar! Ann is thinking about leaving Pawnee. Moving, with Chris.
Ron Swanson: Well, that's nice.
Leslie Knope: Nice, Ron? Edible arrangements are nice. This is volcanically hot betrayal! She is my best friend! She's thinking about leaving, just like that! And she wants to "talk to me" about it? It's like, I don't even know what to say.
Ron Swanson: That you love her and you understand that it's her life, and geography will never change your feelings.
Leslie Knope: Whatever. I don't even need her. I've got Tynnyfer now, and Craig, and Eric, the racist drug dealer who I've yet to meet. Those are my real friends.

Tom: [aside to camera] After I defeated him in an epic struggle, E.R.I.C. is gone. He's been replaced by T.O.M.: Town-wide Organizational Matrix.

Donna: Big plans tonight, Craig?
Craig: No, I have a ton of work to do. Plus, my DVR is 13 months pregnant with episodes of Scandal.
Donna: Scandal's my favorite show. I love every character, except for...
Both: Mellie.
Craig: Oh! Of course you like Scandal! Because you're amazing! I love you. And no matter what happens with this job, I will always love you. [to Tom] Excuse me! Who even are you?

Chris: But now, Ann and Leslie are our real partners.
Ben: Yeah. It's a good thing. But you were a fine surrogate before we found them.
Chris: Just so you know, we're thinking of moving. Don't know where yet. Maybe Michigan, to be with Ann's family.
Ben: Wow. That makes me kind of sad. But also incredibly happy for you and Ann. We have come a long way.
Chris: Something healthy! A cherry tomato. Nope. A gumball.
Ben: Ooh!

Leslie Knope: What I really want to say is, I'm sorry. You're my best friend. This whole thing is just scary and confusing. I love you. I want to talk about this, all of this, whatever it means. Was that okay?
Evelyn: I guess it's good. Again, I barely know you or Ann, so I don't have much to go off of.
Leslie Knope: Well...
Ann: [enters] Hey, Leslie.
Leslie Knope: Hey. Uh, you are excused, Fake Ann. That was six hours well spent. I thank you.