Sharona: Adrian, you're sick.
Adrian Monk: No. No, I'm well, and you can't stand it, can you? I'm doing fine without you, and it drives you crazy.
Sharona: Come on.
Adrian Monk: I'm happy, Sharona, for the first time in years, and I love it. I love the Monk.
Sharona: Is that your car?
Adrian Monk: Pretty righteous, huh?
Sharona: You can't afford this!
Adrian Monk: I couldn't afford not to buy it. You wouldn't understand.

Adrian Monk: Hey, hey, I'm heading down to New Orleans for Mardi gras. Ever been?
Woman: I went last year.
Adrian Monk: That is so tight. But dig it. The Monk on Bourbon Street. That should be pretty wild, am I right?
Man: Seriously, seriously, cut it out.
Adrian Monk: Hey, you guys wanna come? I got a car.
Man: I can't. My old man would kill me.
Adrian Monk: Your old man's bringing me down. That whole generation... Man, they just don't get it.
Man: He's younger than you.
Adrian Monk: Word.

Sharona: Is it you?
Adrian Monk: I think so.
Sharona: What happened to the Monk?
Adrian Monk: Trudy didn't like him.
Sharona: Neither did I. I wanted to strangle him, but that would've meant hurting you.
Adrian Monk: Yeah I don't remember. Did I, did I say anything stupid?
Sharona: No. I mean, no more than usual.

Sharona: So, tell me, why did you want me to meet you here?
Adrian Monk: Well, there's something wrong with this room. It's been bothering me. Do you have a copy of the suicide note? "The pain is too much. I'm so sorry." "The pain is too much. I'm so sorry." "The pain is too much. I'm so sorry." Sharona.
Sharona: What?
Adrian Monk: Where's the pen?
Sharona: What pen?
Adrian Monk: This note was written with a red pen. I don't see a red pen in here, do you?
Sharona: No. I mean, the letter was written over here, but no red pen.
Adrian Monk: But no red pen. And there wasn't one on the body when she jumped. Somebody else wrote that note.

Adrian Monk: Get a wipe ready. [rubs chalk]
Sharona: What is it?
Adrian Monk: It's the first suicide note. The real one. "Two years ago in Cincinnati, I helped my husband stage an armored car robbery."
Sharona: Oh, my God. Here. Officer! Officer! Listen, I want you to call the captain, tell him that there's an armed robbery in progress at the Mountain View Industrial Park, do you understand? Come on, it's 2 miles away. Let's go.
Adrian Monk: Let's go.

Adrian Monk: Lester! Drop the gun! Just drop it! Drop it.
Lester Highsmith: You. [smiles] Is that a water pistol?
Adrian Monk: No. Maybe. It's hot water. It's scalding. Scalding hot water. Just drop it.

Lieutenant Disher: Hey, Lester, you remember my partner, don't you? You put a bullet in his shoulder. You got anything to say to him? Yeah.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's all right, Randy. He's got at least 50 years to think of something. Good job, son.
Lieutenant Disher: Get this piece of crap out of here.

Adrian Monk: Do you think Dr. Kroger would want me to throw these away?
Sharona: I think everybody wants you to throw them away.
Adrian Monk: You understand that if, if I toss these out, you'll never see the Monk again.
Sharona: [throws the pills away] I missed you.
Adrian Monk: I missed me, too.