‘Field Trip’
Season 7, Episode 5 - Aired October 10, 2011
Robin's therapist, Kevin, doesn't want to see her as a patient anymore. Marshall is outraged when his new boss takes a lowball settlement with a billion dollar company. Meanwhile, Ted takes his architecture class on a field trip.
Quote from Robin
Future Ted: [v.o.] And so Robin and Kevin had breakfast alone, side by side every day that week. Until finally...
Robin: Oh, hey! Sorry. No cabs. Ran 40 blocks all the way here. May have knocked an old lady into the street,
don't know, I didn't look back.
Kevin: Let's just go on a real date.
Robin: Yeah, that might be a good idea.
Waitress: Finally!
Quote from Barney
Lily: Oh, I can't wait to see that movie. Is it good?
Barney: Awesome. Wait, totally hypothetically, do you like movies with a shocking twist where all the main characters die at the end?
Lily: Yes.
Barney: You will love this movie.
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: Well, I'll tell you what's up. You know how my boss, Garrison Cootes, is, like, the most famous environmental lawyer in the world?
All: [unconvincingly] Yeah...
Robin: I mean, it's him or the other guy.
Marshall: Sir Anthony Howell?
All: [unconvincingly] Yeah...
Quote from Barney
Marshall: Anyway, he's an important guy, okay? And so today at work, I was trying to show him that I'm tough.
[flashback to Marshall at work:]
Marshall: I've been thinking about this settlement offer we're about to get from Gruber Pharmaceuticals. If it's anything less than $20 million, then I'm gonna grab those corporate Earth rapists by their...
[present:]
Lily: Okay, I'm just gonna say something. I'm growing a child in my belly, a child that just developed ears. This is a very thin sweater. So please, if you must tell your story... just make it cheerful.
Marshall: Cheerful. Okay...
[flashback:]
Marshall: Then I'm gonna grab those corporate... employees... by their sweaty, dangling... hands... and squeeze until those greedy sons of... parents... realize that I'm the baddest mother... nature lover around.
[present:]
Barney: It's like watching The Breakfast Club on TBS.
Quote from Marshall
Lily: So what did he say?
[flashback to Marshall at work:]
Garrison Cootes: Marshall, bend down so I can put my arm around you. That's all the way down. That's good. Gruber Pharmaceuticals is a company full of well-meaning people doing their jobs, just like you and me.
[present:]
Marshall: Guys, I'm afraid that Garrison Cootes has gone soft! He's like a teddy bear!
Ted: A teddy bear or an Ewok? You know, cute and cuddly around the village, but once the battle starts...
Marshall: He'll smash in your metal skull with giant swinging logs.
Lily: Marshall!
Marshall: Okay, he'll hug you until you agree to peaceably shut down the Death Star.
Quote from Barney
Nora: What are we all talking about?
Robin: Ewoks.
Nora: Ugh, I hate the Ewoks. The only good thing about Ewoks in that movie? You got to see some of them die. Well, I fancy a pint. [goes to the bar]
Barney: Nora hates Ewoks. Well, I have to break up with her. Be gentle when you tell her, guys. I'll call you from Vegas. Tell me how it went. Okay.
Quote from Robin
Ted: Well, I should get going. I got the big field trip tomorrow.
Lily: Field trip?
Ted: Yeah. I'm taking my Intro to Architecture class to the GNB Tower construction site. I'm trying to get them interested in architecture as a career.
Barney: Why? Are we running out of buildings?
Robin: Are we running out of boring people?
Quote from Ted
Ted: Well, it's 9:45. I guess the other 170 of you got lost, so we'll just start. Now, some might say you guys are just taking this class because it's easy or because you've confused architecture with archaeology and think we're gonna do some cool Indiana Jones stuff today. But I think that... [five students walk away] I think just maybe, we got some future architects in the house. Show of hands: who's thinking about a career in architecture? Well, today, all that's gonna change. Follow me.
Construction worker: Hey. Uh, sorry, nobody gets in here without a site pass.
Ted: It's okay, I'm Ted Mosby, the architect of this building.
Construction worker: I don't care if you're the archaeologist of this building. Site's closed.
Ted: Moving on!
Quote from Marshall
Future Ted: [v.o.] That morning, Marshall's firm was getting the settlement offer from Gruber Pharmaceuticals, and Marshall couldn't wait to see the teddy bear turn into an Ewok.
Garrison Cootes: Gruber Pharmaceuticals dumped toxic waste into Frog Creek, a tributary of the Trout River that feeds into Clearwater Lake. All three of which now need new names. So it's time to win one for Mother Earth. Let's take out the trash, shall we?!
Marshall: Yes!
Garrison Cootes: All right, everyone grab a bag. Blue is recycling, green, compost. There we go.
[later, in the conference room:]
Garrison Cootes: Sheila... we're ready to hear your offer. [Sheila slides an offer across the table] $24,000? Yeah, that seems reasonable.
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: [on the phone] Hey, baby.
Lily: Hey, I just want to remind you we have Dr. Sonya at 4:00.
Marshall: I'll be there. I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm bummed. We got our settlement offer today: $24,000 from a billion-dollar company.
Lily: Wow. I take it people aren't happy about that.
Garrison Cootes: We won! Champagne and cake for everybody!
Marshall: They're celebrating. I mean, it's crazy. We have no right to be eating cake.
Lily: There's cake?! I'm on my way!