Ross: Phoebe, will you help me out here?
Phoebe: Well, I thought you loved her when you married her.
Ross: We were drunk. I would've married Joey with that amount of alcohol.
Phoebe: Hey! You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribbiani!

Joey: So Ross and Rachel got married. Monica and Chandler almost got married. You think we should hook up?
Phoebe: Oh, we do. But not just yet.
Joey: Really? Well, when?
Phoebe: Well, first Chandler and Monica will get married, and be filthy rich, by the way. But it won't work out.
Joey: Wow.
Phoebe: I know. Then I'm going to marry Chandler for the money. And you'll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
Joey: Great.
Phoebe: But then we ditch those two and that's when we get married. We'll have Chandler's money and Rachel's kids. And getting custody will be easy because of Rachel's drinking problem.
Joey: Ooh, ooh, what about Ross?
Phoebe: I don't want to go into the whole thing. But we have words and I kill him.

Ross: Okay, so I don't have it all worked out quite yet. Just don't say anything to Rachel. Please.
Phoebe: Rachel is one of my closest friends. Although being the only one that knows about this does make me feel special. Okay.
Rachel: Okay, stop, stop! Phoebe?
Phoebe: Hey, Rach.
Rachel: What was that?
Phoebe: Sorry. Mix-up. Hey, how was the movie?
Rachel: I haven't seen it yet.
Phoebe: Well you better hurry. The Angelika! Go! Go!
Rachel: No!

Chandler: When we move in together, can I get a gumball machine?
Monica: Of course. Joey wouldn't let you have one?
Chandler: No, when it comes to sweets, he's surprisingly strict.

Monica: When we told Joey, he cried his eyes out.
Joey: Hey! I did not cry my eyes out! Come on, it's like the end of an era. No more J-Man and Channy's.
Chandler: Okay, I gotta ask, who calls us that?

Phoebe: Ross, can I just talk to you for just a second?
Rachel: Oh, but Phoebe, we're going to be late for the movie.
Phoebe: Oh, there's a cab. Taxi! That's great. What timing. My God, huh? There you go.
Rachel: We're actually just going to walk because it's right up there at the Angelika.
Phoebe: The Angelika! Go! Go! [The taxi pulls away with Rachel]

Monica: Did you tell him you're moving out?
Chandler: No, I keep trying. And I can get out "Joey, I have to-" But then I lose my nerve and I finish with "-go to the bathroom." He may think I'm sick.

Joey: Okay. If you're gonna be moving in with him, I feel it is my responsibility to tell you the truth about him. Okay, he's a terrible roommate. Terrible. He forgets to... He always, he always... Oh, who am I kidding? He's the best roommate ever.

Monica: I have some pretty exciting news.
Phoebe: You're pregnant.
Monica: No. Chandler and I are moving in together.
Phoebe: Oh, that's good. Wow. But now if you were pregnant, what would you name it? Hint, Phoebe.

Ross: What's up?
Monica: Chandler and I are moving in together.
Ross: Oh, my God. Oh, my little sister and my best friend ... shacking up.