Roz: It's about my new job. It's a nightmare.
Niles: Didn't you just start today?
Roz: Yes. My boss already hit on me, I'm supposed to work nights and weekends, and my assistant is an idiot and I can't fire her 'cause she's, like, three minorities rolled into one.

Niles: What's the big deal? Why do you hate going to the doctor so much?
Martin: Everybody does.
Daphne: Not my brother Billy. He loved going to the doctors. From the time he was a little boy, he'd start getting undressed in the car. And mind you, that was just for the dentist. As he got older, he volunteered for medical studies, supported himself getting all sorts of experimental drugs pumped into him. [goes into the kitchen]
Martin: Think she's finished?
Niles: Wait for it.
Daphne: [returning] One year, he grew little boobies.

Frasier: He doesn't seem very happy to be here. He hardly said two words to me.
Martin: Oh, it's perfectly normal. You're his dad. Kids that age don't want to talk to their dad.
Frasier: I never stopped talking to you.
Martin: [sighs] I know, buddy.

Niles: Oh, my God. Frasier set his newsstand on fire.
Martin: Mmm-hmm.

Soloist #1: So if you are stymied to find a prognosis
Soloist #2: And ask yourself, just like Freud:
Soloist #3: "Himmel, vas los ist?"
Soloist #1: Stop scratching your head, let us cure it instead
All: On our show! On our show! Now here is the man to explain The tortured terrain of your brain The man who feels everyone's pain... Dr. Crane! Dr. Crane! Frasier Crane!

Daphne: Look, I know you're upset about Kate leaving, but cheer up. There's nothing quite as exciting as a first date. All those questions you ask. "What's your favorite food?" "What's your favorite color?" "If you were to come back as an animal, what sort of animal would you be?" If she were to ask you that one, what would you say?
Frasier: "Check, please" comes to mind.

Niles: Listen, this isn't an easy subject to broach, but is it possible you're in love with Frasier?
Roz: Absolutely not.
Niles: You sound sure.
Roz: I am sure. I mean, if I were going to fall for him it would have been two years ago when we slept together.
Niles: Well then, another theory I'd like to explore is... Whoa, back up! You and Frasier slept together?
Roz: He didn't tell you?
Niles: No! Well, I suppose it's only natural. When the wolf and the lamb work together, it's only a matter of time before the wolf gets his way. I hope you were gentle with him.