Frasier: Well, you know, we can talk about it, we can think about it, but nobody really knows how or when.
Roz: One second we're alive as anyone else, and then... what?
Frasier: Darkness. Nothingness. Afterlife?
Niles: I've always liked the notion of meeting the great figures of history. But then I think, what if it's like high school and all the really cool dead people don't want to hang out with me. Mozart'll tell me he's busy but then later I'll see him out with Shakespeare and Lincoln.

Daphne: If Eddie were one of the Beatles, I think he'd be George. I don't know why. [Daphne heads to the kitchen]
Frasier: And yet she's never been committed. [in a mock British accent] I don't know why.

Frasier: I don't suppose whether my father told you, but my brother and I happen to be psychiatrists.
Dr. Shaw: Oh, how nice. I always enjoy being in the company of colleagues.
Niles: I'm sorry. Did you say "colleagues" or "Collies?"

Roz: When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui and I want my husband to be so upset that he has to drop out of college.

Martin: Well, I don't know how I wanna go. But all my years around the police morgue taught me a few things. First off, you don't want to swallow Drano or rat poison. And if you're going to kill yourself with an axe, get it right the first time.

Daphne: You know, I once had a psychic tell me the strangest thing. That one day I'd go off my rocker, take up a kitchen knife, kill the entire household and then kill meself. Silly old bag. She was right about my moving to Seattle, though.

Martin: Maybe Eddie's just lonely. You know, I was thinking maybe we could get another...
Frasier: Stop right there, Dad. We are not getting another dog.
Martin: Oh, come on. What could be more fun than having a little brother or sister around the house to play with?
Frasier: I fell for that trick once, Dad.

Daphne: Oh, that'll be Dr. Crane. He said he was going to bring his dog over.
Martin: Oh, not that four-legged Maris.
Frasier: Dad, please. Don't call it that in front of him. He has no idea.
Martin: How could he not? It acts like Maris. It barks like Maris. Aside from the fact that it eats now and then, they're dead ringers.

Martin: What's keeping this guy? He should have been here be now.
Frasier: Perhaps he's being detained by his fear of fetching group.

Dr. Shaw: We're going to spend the next hour trying to figure out why you're sad.
Frasier: When you give a dog an hour, you can bill him for seven.