Rochelle: Mom, it's just dinner. I just thought you might like to have a meal with somebody besides us for a change.
Maxine: So, what, you just go out on the street, get some man, bring him up here to eat with me like I'm a charity case?
Rochelle: No, Momma, I didn't say that.
Lester: Maxine, it's just a friendly meal.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's what Robert Blake said.
Maxine: We are not friends. I don't know you. And you sure don't know me.
Lester: Well, I was thinking we could get to know each other.
Maxine: Anybody ask you what you think?
Rochelle: Momma!
Maxine: Don't "Momma" me. I'm too old for a blind date.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Wouldn't say that if it was Stevie Wonder.
Maxine: I don't know who you're eating with, but you're not going to eat with me.

Rochelle: Momma... Just have a couple of peas or something. Sorry.
Lester: What about you? Would you care to eat?
Rochelle: What?
Lester: I came to eat. I don't care who I eat with.
Rochelle: [sighs] Might as well.

Drew: Well, you know when a girl likes you, but you just don't like her back?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Is he serious?
Chris: No, I don't.
Drew: Well, how do you tell her without hurting her feelings?
Chris: I have no idea.
Drew: I should probably just tell her the truth, huh?
Chris: I don't know.
Drew: I should probably tell her.
Chris: Okay.
Drew: Thanks.
Chris: Welcome.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Why can't everything be this easy?

Rochelle: Ma, I can't believe you treated that man like that.
Maxine: I can't believe you treated me like a floozy looking to pick up some strange man off the street.
Rochelle: Well, Ma, ever since Daddy died, I just worry about you being lonely.
Maxine: I am not lonely. I love coming here, taking care of you and your kids.
Rochelle: But you're driving me crazy. Ma, this is my house. I like to do things my way. This family already has one momma. We don't need two.
Maxine: Okay. I'll go.
Rochelle: But Ma, I didn't mean it like that.
Maxine: Uh-uh, no, no.

Drew: Hey, Chantal.
Chantal: Can I ask you a question?
Drew: Yeah.
Chantal: How come you don't like me?
Drew: I don't know. I just don't.
Chantal: It's got to be something. Do you think I'm ugly?
Drew: No.
Chantal: Do you think I'm dumb?
Drew: No.
Chantal: Then what is it? Just tell me the truth.
Drew: [sighs] You're too tall.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Never stopped Danny DeVito.

Lester: Hello.
Maxine: Are you stalking me?
Lester: [chuckles] No. I just dropped by Mr. Omar's for a moment to say hello.
Maxine: [laughs] Oh, I'm sorry.
Lester: Um... I'm sorry about what happened last night. I didn't know that you had no idea I was coming. My daughter did the same thing to me.
Maxine: Where do they get off doing that? If I wanted to meet someone, I would.
Lester: I-I... I know. My daughter had so many women coming through it was like a Miss America Pageant. [Maxine laughs] She thinks she's protecting me. I just wish she would get out of my house.
Maxine: [laughs] The only way I can get my son out of the house is to put dinner on the stoop.

Maxine: I'm so sorry I was rude. I was just caught off guard.
Lester: Ah, don't worry about it. It was just nice to meet you.
Maxine: Well, very nice meeting you, too.
Lester: Uh, Maxine. Would you mind if we had a cup of coffee sometime?
Maxine: Coffee? I guess.
Lester: How about now?
Maxine: Oh, well, that would be nice. Don't try anything funny. I have mace and a whistle in my purse.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He's got a gun.

Julius: Look, they're the seven words you can't say on TV. Where does it say you can say 'em in school?
Rochelle: And why would you think that something like this is funny anyway?
Chris: It's no worse than Redd Foxx.
Julius: Where did you hear Redd Foxx?
Chris: Here.
Rochelle: What do you mean "here"?
Chris: A few nights ago, y'all were playing the records and I heard it.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Some parents would blame themselves, not mine.