Erin: How's it going? [Clare gives a "so-so" hand gesture] You're really not gonna talk for 24 hours?
Orla: Yeah, that's tough. You're better off not breathing.
Erin: Would she be, Orla? Or... would she be dead?
Orla: It's not doing me any harm.
Erin: What?
Orla: I'm not breathing for Children in Need.
Erin: That's happening now, is it, you're currently not breathing?
Orla: Correct.
Erin: Grand.

Jim: Look, Colm's met JFK. He has experience with presidents, he'll know what to do.
Joe: No chance! I'm sorry, Colm, but you can't be part of this. If you meet Bill Clinton, you'll be a president up. You'll have two presidents to my one. I cannot have you getting ahead of me, president-wise.
Sarah: One of his presidents is dead, Daddy.
Joe: It still counts.
Jim: Ssh!
Joe: I'll only have to even things up again.
Jim: Ssh, Joe!
Joe: I can't spend the rest of my life traipsing around after bloody presidents. I've other things to be at, girls.

Mary: Erin, what in God's name?
Gerry: Did you kill that wee nun, girls?
Erin: Course we didn't.
Sarah: Then why were you pissing on her dead body and making sandwiches?
Joe: Say nothing, girls. Say nothing till we've seen a lawyer.

Joe: I heard that k.d. lang on the radio yesterday. Christ, but she's some set of pipes on her. You're very talented people.
Clare: Thank you?

James: Hey, I passed! I passed!
Michelle: What are you on about?
James: My driving test. I... I passed.
Erin: You were doing your driving test?
James: It's literally all I've talked about for weeks.
Michelle: Jesus Christ, James! There's only so many ways I can say this.... We. Don't. Listen. To. You.

Gerry: OK, that is one portion of redfish, one portion of whitefish, two bags of chips...
Joe: No, no, no! Two bags won't be enough.
Gerry: Two is plenty, Joe.
Joe: Four! Four should cover it.
Gerry: Three, then, we'll compromise.
Joe: I'll compromise you through that window.
Mary: That's enough, Da.
Joe: The tight bastard is trying to starve us all, Mary.
Gerry: OK, four bags of chips, then.

James: I support gays, even though I myself am not actually gay.