Sam: No, I'm doing this for Rebecca. I figure the farther I fall, the hotter she gets. Who's with me?
Norm: I am, Sammy.
Cliff: Norm, you turncoat you!
Norm: No, Cliffie, it's as if my whole life came down to this one moment! And if I jump and I make it, I prove to myself that I am worth something. That there's a reason for me being on this Earth. Then I can just sit down and plant it on that bar stool for the rest of my life. Let's go!

Rebecca: Thank you for caring. You see, Sam? And you said very few of our customers would care enough to write down suggestions.
Sam: No, I said very few of our customers could write.
Rebecca: Well, you are wrong. I mean, look at all of these. Read that. Let's see how we can make Cheers more responsive to its customers' needs.
Sam: Uh... "Cheers should have a happy hour."
Rebecca: Not legal in the state of Massachusetts.
Sam: All right. "Serve hot hors d'oeuvres."
Rebecca: Conflict of interest with Melville's.
Sam: Oh, the old place is really shaping up, isn't it?
Rebecca: You know, there's got to be one practical suggestion in here. Now here's one. [gasps] Ooh, it's a long one. That means someone really cared. "The thing I like best about Cheers is the sense of warmth and affection I get from the employees, especially the manager, who seems to be a generous, open-hearted woman." Did you hear that? The manager. "In fact, the only thing needed to complete the loving family feeling of this bar, would be if the manager made the naked pretzel with the bartender."
[Rebecca scrunches up the paper and throws it on the ground]

Norm: Sammy, Magnificent Seven!
Sam: Great movie.
Norm: No, that's my order. Come on.
Woody: Hey, I never sat down at this bar as a customer. What's good here?
Norm: I've heard the beer's okay.

Frasier: You guys seem pretty pumped up tonight. Where you been?
Woody: We rented some movies and watched them over at Mr. Clavin's apartment.
Rebecca: Don't you guys ever watch anything but The Magnificent Seven?
Cliff: Oh, as a matter of fact, we rented The Magnificent Ambersons, but, uh, watched it for a couple minutes and realized it wasn't a sequel, so we went back to watching The Magnificent Seven.
Norm: Oh, yeah. Boy, you know, that must have been really something, living back in the Old West, you know? When men were men, settling a new frontier.
Cliff: Yeah, you know, I think in one of my past lives, I lived in the Old West. As far as I recall, I handled myself pretty well.
Carla: No one could pull a buckboard like you, Clavin.

Woody: Okay, what are we gonna tell the guys back at Cheers? I mean, we were mouthing off pretty good last night.
Norm: No problem, Woody. We just walk in the bar, we look those guys straight in the eye, and we lie our socks off.
Cliff: I like it.
Woody: We can't do that.
Cliff: Why not? Who's gonna know? Just, uh, us and the guy who jumped out before us. And he's probably dead by now.
Woody: I can't do that. I can't lie. I can't.
Cliff: We've got to stick together, here. I mean, we made a pact. Men together. It's, uh it's male bonding.
Norm: Right. Which includes lying and chickening out together.
Woody: All right. But I've got to say I'm not proud of myself.
Norm: So what? Cliffie and I never are.

Norm: [to Sam] Well, there wasn't really a whole lot to it. You know, we jumped, the chutes opened, we landed.
Cliff: [to a group of guys] Yeah, yeah, the pilot and the instructor said they'd never seen a first-timer do a triple backwards somersault and land and land square, right on the bull's-eye.
Sam: So, Woody how'd you like it?
Norm: Oh, he's not much for talking, Sammy. Not Woody. He's, uh, he's a man of action. A simple man, like me.
We both appreciate a simple story. The, uh, kind of story you can stick to.
Sam: [whistles] Boy, I tell you. I've always wanted to skydive. I've just never had the guts. What did it feel like?
Cliff: Well, I imagine it's a lot like sex, Sammy. Well, not that I have to imagine what sex is like. I've had plenty of sex, and plenty of this, too. Why don't you just get off my back, okay?

Carla: Sammy, you don't believe these guys, do you? They didn't jump. [scoffs] You two weaseled out of here last night, went home, you curled up with your wife, and you got under the sheets with your flashlight and Barbie doll.

Sam: Come on, Carla, they wouldn't make this up.
Carla: Oh, yeah? Hey, Corncob.
Woody: Who, me?
Carla: No, the other corncob. Look, if Woody here, who has never told a little white fib in his whole entire life, because he knows that if he does, he'd go straight to H-E-double hockey sticks, says that they jumped, then they jumped. Now, Woody... [Carla sits Woody up on the bar] Did you and your two playmates over there, really, really jump out of an airplane?
Woody: Well, we went up in the plane. I remember, 'cause I was there.
Carla: Yeah?
Woody: We were very high and we looked down... Did I mention we were in the plane?
Carla: Yeah.
Woody: And the people looked like ants. Although, the kind of ants you can hardly see.
Carla: Woody, did you jump?!
Woody: Yes, I jumped, the parachute opened, I landed. It was all very simple and believable.
Carla: God! I don't believe you guys really did it. But Woody never lies, so I guess it's the truth. Did you jump? Woody: Yes.
Carla: Jump?
Woody: Yes. [Carla looks at Woody] Yes!

Sam: Well, I've got to give you guys credit. You know, I'd like to try that someday.
Cliff: Yeah, well, everybody says "someday," Sammy. But only a precious few of us have the maracas to try it.
Norm: Cliffie.
Sam: Hey, wait a minute. Hey, listen, I've got maracas here. Uh, all right, I tell you what. Why don't the three of you take me out, huh? Tomorrow, maybe?
Cliff: Tomorrow?
Sam: Yeah.
Cliff: [high-pitched] Is that okay with you, Norm?

Sam: That's great. So you come back to the bar and you lie and you stir up everybody's imagination to the point where you get me up here. I mean, that's low. You know something? I'm gonna do it anyway. It's not often you get a second chance at life.
Cliff: What? What are you talking about?
Sam: There was this night when I was playing in Tiger Stadium towards the end of my career. I'd been on the bottle for a while and the coach hadn't been using me. But this was gonna be a big game, so I decided I wouldn't have a drink all day long. I was dying, but I knew this would be my last chance to prove myself as a major league pitcher. Sure enough, late innings, the call comes down, send Malone in. I told them that I couldn't play. My arm hurt. I chickened out. I was afraid to go out there. I turned tail and I slunk back to the locker room. And I've regretted it every day of my life. And I'll tell you something, damn it. I'm not going to let that happen this time. I'm going out there. Okay, Bob, what do I do here?
Bob: Remember what I told you. Get down on the door, count to three, go.
Sam: One, two... Okay, here's our story.