Cory: Don't tell him we have a daughter.
Eric: I have a nitch?
Mr. Feeny: Niece.
Eric: Niece?

Eric: I married a moose. We don't need counselling.

Eric: Insane? If giving away all your worldly possessions, renouncing society, and learning how to purify and drink your own urine, is insane, well, yes, color me insane.

Mr. Feeny: Mr. Matthews?
Eric: Mr. Squirrels.
Cory: Eric?
Eric: Plays with.

Jack: How ya' doin'?
Eric: Fine, my son.
Jack: Eric?
Eric: No, not Eric. Not any more.
Jack: Okay, what is your name now?
Eric: My name is Plays with Squirrels.

Mr. Feeny: You were always my most interesting student, Mr. Squirrels.

Topanga: Shawn, his lover.
Cory: Oh, very tasteful honey. Did you hear that, Shawn?
Topanga: Shawn, his lover.
Shawn: Oh, shut up Yoko.

Mr. Feeny: Okay, the party's over. I'll see you at my funeral.