Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Trying’ Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Trying

706. Trying

Aired March 5, 2020

Jake and Amy work an uncrackable case while Holt adjusts to a new beat. Hitchcock looks for the love of his life.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Thank you for seeing me. I just wanted to let you know I was wrong. Until last night, I didn't realize how much Russian I'd learned.
Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah, it was impressive. And your accent was great, too.
Captain Holt: Thank you, but I actually speak with the accent of a peasant.


Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: Well, think of it this way: It's like doing reps at a gym. Doing something over and over again is how you make your pecs pop.
Captain Holt: The only muscle I care to work out is my brain.
Sergeant Jeffords: Then get those reps in and make that brain pop. Pop, pop. Pop, pop, pop.
Captain Holt: What you're describing is an aneurism.
Sergeant Jeffords: Pop, pop. Pop, pop, pop.

Quote from Jake

Jake: It's just--this is all feeling a little overscheduled, you know? It might be taking some of the fun out of making a baby.
Amy: Oh, okay. So what are you suggesting?
Jake: Maybe we try this The Jake Way.
Amy: Eating dinner starting with dessert?
Jake: That's one Jake Way. You know? The Jake Way is a brand. It encompasses a whole lifestyle.

Quote from Scully

Scully: Thanks, everybody, for coming out to Hitchcock's divorce party.
Rosa: Why is the cake two men getting married?
Scully: That's me and Hitchcock. The boys are back together!
Captain Holt: This cake for a gay wedding. The inside is a rainbow.
Scully: Nuh-uh. It's my favorite flavor: All the flavors!

Quote from Hitchcock

Hitchcock: I can't believe Bethany's gone. It was so out of the blue.
Jake: Well, not entirely. I mean, she did have an affair with her hairdresser, and you filmed it and threatened to release the tape, and then she said she didn't care and put it on the internet herself, and then when it started to make money, you sued her for half the profits.
Hitchcock: And then boom, out of the blue: Divorce papers.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Lieutenant, as you know, I've been walking the same beat for the past three weeks. It's become a bit tedious.
Sergeant Jeffords: I thought you loved tedium.
Captain Holt: I love monotony. They're very different.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: [sighs] I'm off to walk my beat again, much like Sisyphus, condemned to push the same boulder up the same hill day in and day out.
Sergeant Jeffords: You know, according to French Philosopher Albert Camus, Sisyphus achieved happiness in that absurd repetition.
Captain Holt: Any French philosophy post-Rousseau is essentially a magazine. You rube.

Quote from Hitchcock

Hitchcock: Oh, come on. It's like every woman in this city has all of her teeth. Stupid Bloomberg and his stupid soda ban!

Quote from Hitchcock

Jake: Congratulations, Hitchcock, it's the first wedding I've ever been to with a cover charge.
Hitchcock: It's for our honeymoon. We're going to Barbados, and we'll have the island all to ourselves, because it's Dengue Fever season.
Amy: But your wife is pregnant.
Hitchcock: You can't live in fear. Don't want to spend every moment worried about Dengue or black mold or those weird spots on the MRI they found on your brain.
Amy: Hitchcock, is your brain okay?
Hitchcock: The point is: I don't care.

Quote from Scully

Scully: For those of you that don't know me, my name is Norm Scully. Hitchcock is my partner, and he's also my best friend. He buys the bear claws I like when we're on a stakeout or when we're just in the office or at home. I love him. Anna Rubov, do you promise to love and cherish Michael Hitchcock as much as I've loved him?
Anna Rubov: I do.
Scully: And, Michael Hitchcock, do you agree to shower Anna with the same love and kindness you've shown me these 30 wonderful years together?
Hitchcock: I do.
Sergeant Jeffords: Dang. Terry didn't know this was gonna be so sweet.
Scully: You may now kiss the bride.
[Anna and Hitchcock share a kiss, then he pulls Scully into a tight hug]

 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode