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‘The Mole’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Mole

205. The Mole

Aired November 2, 2014

When an Internal Affairs investigator arrives at the precinct, Jake and Captain Holt work to uncover the mole in their department. Meanwhile, Terry and Rosa go undercover at a "silent disco" as part of their giggle pig drug task force.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Nothing's okay. Wuntch, circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, is everything okay? I am buffeted by the winds of my foe's enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet I, a Captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, is everything okay? I've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold, and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, and with it the very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, is everything okay?

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Quote from Captain Holt

Deputy Chief Wuntch: Hello, Raymond.
Captain Holt: Madeline. I wondered why all the birds had suddenly stopped singing. What brings you here?
Deputy Chief Wuntch: I heard you were under investigation by Internal Affairs. Didn't wanna miss that.
Captain Holt: So much time with your ear to the pavement, it's a pity a truck hasn't run over your head.

Quote from Gina

Gina: It's Gina's phone. Leave me a voice-mail. I won't check it 'cause it's not 1993.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: I was raised on disco. Little Terry loved to hustle.

Quote from Captain Holt

Jake: I promise I will be stone-cold serious in my interview. I'll even use my serious face. If you're wondering how I'm pulling this off, I'm thinking about the time when I was eight and Don Mattingly called me a little turd.
Captain Holt: Was he right?
Jake: Yes.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Please don't joke around in there. I know you're used to riffing with me, but Internal Affairs detectives rarely have my sense of humor.

Quote from Jake

Jake: You know how I'm kind of a sexy bad boy who rides motorcycles into work and is always breaking the rules in the name of justice?
Amy: I don't like where this is going.
Jake: Well, I also maybe sometimes bring home case files to work on them after hours, and I might not be that great about returning them.
Amy: Oh, God.
Jake: Are you aroused because of what a bad boy I am?
Amy: No!
Jake: No!

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: You said there was no mole. You said you knew everything about these people.
Jake: Well, it turns out I don't. I've learned some truly horrible things tonight. You were right and I was wrong.
Captain Holt: Goodness. Boyle is sleeping with Gina?
Jake: What? How could you possibly know that?
Captain Holt: "You were right and I was wrong". You must have been shaken to your core to say that to me. Boyle is your most trusted friend, so he has to be involved. Your use of the word horrible leads me to believe that the matter was sexual in nature, given your obvious immaturity.
Jake: I've had sex.
Captain Holt: And, of course, you would be most upset if Boyle were to have slept with someone you knew from your childhood. Thus, the solve: Gina and Charles.

Quote from Jake

Jake: That was insane. I mean who else is hooking up that we don't know about? Rosa and Terry? Holt and Scully? You and Hitchcock?
Amy: You need to forget about Charles, okay. You need to get inside and put those files back. Wow, wow, wait. Why did I get Hitchcock?
Jake: Because you're the girl version of him.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Sergeant Jeffords: Now let's go look for bad kids who went to sub-par pre-schools.

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