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‘Hostage Situation’ Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Hostage Situation

311. Hostage Situation

Aired January 5, 2016

When Charles and Genevieve decide to take a step forward as a couple, his ex-wife, Eleanor, takes control of something very valuable to Charles. Meanwhile, Captain Holt and Rosa call on Gina's help to get a suspect talking, and Terry is painfully rewarded for doing a favor for Amy, who needs a recommendation later.

Quote from Jake

Jake: What is happening?
Captain Holt: I'm defusing the situation.
Jake: Whoa, dancing captain. Must capture image of a lifetime! Oh, why is my phone always dead? I paid $13 for it!


Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: Dancing over. Situation defused.
Jake: No!

Quote from Captain Holt

Rosa: Here's the deal, Steven. We already got you on shoplifting. Now let's talk about the 200 cloned credit cards in your bag.
Steven: I'm not saying anything.
Captain Holt: Look, punk, there are two ways we can do this the easy way or the hard way.
Rosa: Tell him what the hard way is, boss.
Captain Holt: Well, first, Steven, we're gonna fill out form 38E-J1, stating noncompliance.
We send it to the DA, but do they process it right away? No, because they're overwhelmed because Debra's on maternity leave. So your court date won't be set for six or eight weeks, and even then, you're gonna have to block off the whole day, because they don't give you a specific time. No, no, it's a window.
Rosa: Sir, can I talk to you for a second? I thought we were gonna to try to scare him.
Captain Holt: There's nothing scarier than the realities of the municipal court system. Now, come on; Let's get back in there and tell him about how bad the website is.

Quote from Charles

Charles: Thankfully, my ex-wife, Eleanor, made me get a vasectomy a year before that. As a precaution, I froze some sperm a lot of sperm. Guy going in after me was like, "Whoa, nice!"
Jake: Wow, he sounds like a gross dude.

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