TV Quotes

Jake: And this beautiful basketball-loving Die Hard fan is tearing down my walls of defenses. If we find out that she is half-Jewish, we are all doomed!

Charles: The guy was from Canada, said it was probably his fault for getting robbed, and apologized for wasting my time.

Gina: You should make me your campaign manager. I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

Gina: Okay, here's what I found out about our competition. Brian Jensen, born 1899, served in the Navy during World War One. A hero at the battle of Scimitar Hill, Jensen perished in a factory fire in the Netherlands. This may be a different Brian Jensen.

Charles: Sexy train is leaving the station. Check out this caboose. Later, sluts.

Charles: I can't wait to see you, my luscious little breakfast quiche. I just want to draw you a bubble bath and spoon-feed you caviar. I think we should open up a joint checking account. I love you.
What am I doing?
Jake: It's okay. I hung up right after "Chucklebunny".
Charles: Help me. I've gone Full Boyle.

Captain Holt: If you screw this up, I will impeach you. I wrote the bylaws, so I know how to do it. But I'm very happy for you. But I will impeach you if necessary.

Scully: I didn't even notice he was wearing a cape.
Amy: You're a cop. You should have realized that.

Jake: Oh, this is turning into a live sex show.
Amy: Yeah, let's go.
Jake: I wasn't saying that in a bad way.
Amy: Jake.
Jake: Although they can't see us.
Amy: Jake!

Gina: Nice jeans, Charles. Those are surprisingly low-waisted.
Charles: Eyes up here, Gina. I'm more than just a piece of ass.
Gina: Not bad. Not bad.

Captain Holt: I'll work on my speech. How's this for an opening joke?
"You know what the toughest part of being a gay black police officer is?
The discrimination."
I believe that's what you call observational humor.

Jake: I found this, by the way. You wrote Mr. Charles Ludley over a thousand times. Why would you take her last name, Boyle?

Gina: I can't believe I was just briefly attracted to Boyle. Ugh ugh.