Charles Boyle Quotes Page 1 of 15
Quote from Into the Woods
Charles: Is the equipment secure?
Charles: Weapon loaded?
Charles: Did you have breakfast?
Jake: What? That's not on the checklist.
Charles: I added it because I care about you.
Jake: No, I did not have breakfast.
Charles: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.
Jake: Hey, there's little chocolate chips in this.
Charles: Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know how to trick my best friend into eating his fiber.
Quote from Lockdown
Charles: Okay, but I thought since you were in charge, maybe I could be your right hand man? Your Tinker Bell?
Rosa: Tinker Bell?
Charles: Let me tell you something about Tinker Bell. Tinker Bell is a loyal lieutenant and a real thorn in the side of Captain Hook.
Quote from USPIS
Jake: Boyle, why don't you show Danger what a fax machine is.
Charles: Okay. Imagine a letter had unprotected sex with a phone.
Quote from The Jimmy Jab Games
Charles: Are you blackmailing me? I don't have any money, Hitchcock. I'm still paying my uncle's funeral bills. I rear-ended the hearse. It was a mess.
Quote from 99
Charles: Hey, Rosa, are you ready to go streaking?
Charles: That's what my dad and I called getting blonde streaks in your hair. We used to do it to our ponytails on road trips. You just take a little lemon up top, and let the sun do the rest. We called it giving each other road head.
Rosa: You just said you called it going streaking.
Charles: It had a couple names.
Quote from Operation Broken Feather
Sergeant Jeffords: So we have good news, and we have bad news.
Charles: My Nana always said, "Bad news first because the good news is probably a lie." Fun fact: she made me cry a lot.
Quote from Greg and Larry
Charles: What about me? What if something happens to Jake, and he never gets to meet my baby? I don't want to hang out with some stupid baby who's never met Jake.
Quote from Captain Peralta
Charles: He should already think you're great. Like with my dad. He doesn't need me to prove to him that Jake Peralta's the best cop in the precinct, he knows it.
Quote from Undercover
Charles: Oh, you're right. I'm gonna tell him. It might not be today. It might not be tomorrow. It definitely won't be later than tomorrow. So pretty much today or tomorrow then.
Quote from Sabotage
Charles: You're useless. You are completely useless. You are, without a doubt, the most incompetent detectives I've ever seen. And I am including that bomb sniffing dog that humps all the bombs.
Quote from The Bet
Charles: Jake, do you know why little boys pull little girls' pigtails on playgrounds?
Jake: Because they're so easy to grab, they're just begging to be pulled.
Charles: Because they like the girls and that's the only way they know how to get their attention.
Jake: What are you saying?
Charles: All of this teasing. This elaborate date. Somewhere deep down, you like Amy. Like like her like her.
Quote from Cheddar
Charles: Okay, the key with dogs is establishing the alpha. Cheddah, dwop it. Pwease dwop it. I'll give you anything you want.
Jake: Oh, Cheddar is the alpha. Didn't expect that.
Quote from The Chopper
Jake: Okay, just so we're clear, from this point forward, my call sign will be Death Blade.
Charles: And I'll be Rum-tum-tugger.
Jake: No, Boyle, no characters from Cats. Dig deep. Think of something scary.
Charles: Adolf Hitler.
Jake: No! You will be Sidewinder.
Charles: All right, but I'm more scared of Hitler.
Quote from The Golden Child
Charles: I want to send someone into holding, undercover as a perp, to see if they can get him to open up.
Sergeant Jeffords: Why don't you do it? You're always going on about your acting abilities and that time you played Annie.
Charles: I'm an adult man, Sarge. I didn't play Annie. I was in "Annie." I played Miss Hannigan.
Quote from USPIS
Jack Danger: There are five people responsible for key collection in the city.
Jake: Boom! That's our list of suspects. We shall call them the fellowship of the key.
Charles: I honestly think you are the greatest man who ever lived.