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‘Adrian Pimento’ Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Adrian Pimento

317. Adrian Pimento

Aired February 23, 2016

When an unstable detective (guest star Jason Mantzoukas) returns to the Nine-Nine after years undercover, Jake doesn't know what to make of him. Meanwhile, Charles' rebellious behavior pits him against the precinct's custodian, and Holt enlists Gina's help in directing a "fun and informational" video starring himself and Rosa.

Quote from Captain Holt

Captain Holt: So I just received word from our friend at the Guffin Foundation. Apparently they loved our video submission. What did you send them?
Gina: A cinematic masterpiece is what I sent them.
Captain Holt: Did it feature pizzazz?
Gina: No, none at all, sir. First, I couldn't wrap my head around that concept, but then I realized: do you know which dogs get the most likes on the internet?
Captain Holt: Anatolian Shepherds.
Gina: No, ugly little runts with wonky eyes and tongues that won't stay in their mouths.
Captain Holt: But the Anatolian Shepherd is unrivaled for protecting livestock.


Quote from Scully

Charles: Yeah, now, this Turkmenistani dish is traditionally made from an animal that's been so overfed it can no longer stand.
Scully: Whoo. That's the dream.

Quote from Scully

Adrian Pimento: Hitchcock and Scully. Ha. You guys still work here?
Hitchcock: The only way they're getting rid of us is in a body bag.
Scully: It actually happened once, but it was a false alarm.

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords

Charles: Now, this just needs to cook for another 11 hours, 32 minutes, and 6 [boom]
Sergeant Jeffords: What the hell, Boyle! You almost killed me! I'm not going out in a stew-making accident! Terry's gonna die saving the President, or Terry's never gonna die!

Quote from Amy

Marge: And you, Santiago, maybe the world would like to see that draft of a memo you wrote where you used T-H-E-I-R instead of T-H-E-R-E?
Amy: Oh, you sick son of a bitch.

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: Oh, my God, this guy's got a pancake butt. It's not Pimento. Get out of there, Jake!

Quote from Rosa

Rosa: Because I'm physically attracted to him.
Jake: And that's bad?
Rosa: I'm only attracted to creeps: the Vulture, the ShamWow guy, and when I was a kid, I had a major crush on the evil Gremlin.
Jake: Stripe? Are you crazy?
Rosa: Yeah, well I'm not gonna bone Gizmo.
Jake: I would.

Quote from Scully

Charles: Why do you hate us so much?
Marge: I know you call me Mean Marge. Do you even know my last name? Hmm?
Scully: Mop-Bucket?
Sergeant Jeffords: Scully, don't guess.

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