Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Brooklyn Nine-Nine centers on a police precinct where an uptight new captain tries to instill order in his squad.

Starring: Andy Samberg, Melissa Fumero, Stephanie Beatriz, Joe Lo Truglio, Chelsea Peretti, Andre Braugher, Terry Crews, Dirk Blocker, Joel McKinnon Miller.
Original Run: 2013-.

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Quote from Charles in The Bet

Charles: Truth time. We love your husband. He's a great cop. We will do anything to protect him. And you have incredibly attractive hands.
And you! What are you doing, lying to your wife? Unless you want to end up moving into my ex-wife's new boyfriend's basement with me, you better man up. Don't you ever keep anything from this beautiful woman again.
Seriously, you are beautiful. If he ever lies to you again, you can call me.

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Quote from Captain Holt in The Mole

Captain Holt: Nothing's okay. Wuntch, circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, is everything okay? I am buffeted by the winds of my foe's enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet I, a Captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, is everything okay? I've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold, and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, and with it the very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, is everything okay?

Quote from Sergeant Jeffords in Beach House

Sergeant Jeffords: I'm playing Kwazy Cupcakes, I'm hydrated as hell, and I'm listening to Sheryl Crow. I've got my own party going on.

Quote from Jake in Operation Broken Feather

Jake: I guess that's your new best friend now, Santiago. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Amy: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Jake: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

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Quote from Captain Holt in The Chopper

Captain Holt: Maybe we should take the chopper.
Jake: You said chopper!
Captain Holt: Deathblade! Sidewinder! It's go time!
Jake: Roger that, wet blanket.
Captain Holt: No, from now on, call me Velvet Thunder.

Quote from Gina in Return of the King

Gina: Timothée Chalamet, shimmy-yah, shimmy-yay. Timothée Chalamet, shimmy-yah, shimmy-yay.
Jake: Gina?
Gina: Sorry, I'm doing my vocal warm-up.

Quote from Jake in 48 Hours

Captain Holt: Every one's tired, Peralta, they just want to go home.
Jake: Yeah, but I have to prove I'm not selfish so I don't care what they want.
That sounded bad.