Missy: He even wrote me a note. "Eggs from your secret admirer. Billy."

Missy: What's your homework?
Sheldon: Non-Euclidean geometry. How about you?
Missy: "Symonyms".
Sheldon: You mean synonyms?
Missy: I'm pretty sure she said "symonyms".

Missy: I get it.
Sheldon: What do you get?
Missy: Why you don't want to go to college.
Sheldon: I doubt that you do.
Missy: You're scared everything's gonna be different and it'll be hard. And you're gonna miss the way that it was.
Sheldon: How do you know that?
Missy: 'Cause that's how I feel.
Sheldon: You're scared?
Missy: Yeah.
Sheldon: So what do we do?
Missy: I guess be scared and do it anyway.
Sheldon: Hmm. It's comforting to know that you feel the same way that I do.
Missy: That's why I said it, dumbass.

Missy: How about a Houston Oilers cheerleader? "Signs point to yes." I'm gonna marry a quarterback.

Mary: Something wrong?
Missy: How come math is easy for Sheldon and hard for me?
Mary: I don't know, honey, but you have your own gifts.
Missy: Like what?
Mary: Well, like you have very pretty hair.
Missy: True.

Sheldon: Is it working? Are you feeling motivated?
Missy: Very. [Missy punches Sheldon in the face]

Mary: What were you even thinking?
Missy: I was thinking I look hot.
Mary: You know you're not allowed to wear makeup.
Missy: That's why I didn't tell you.
Mary: And who gave it to you? Heather B.? Heather M.?
Missy: Meemaw.
Mary: So your grandmother was okay with you looking like this in your school pictures?
Missy: If you don't believe me, ask her.
Mary: Oh, I'm going to.
Missy: Really?

Sheldon: Good luck with your finger painting.
Missy: You're gonna get your ass kicked in high school.
Mary: (flicks Missy on the head) Hey!

Sheldon: Oh, I couldn't tell you how much to give. But I can tell you the Stuckeys stepped up for a thousand dollars. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, you need to give what's comfortable for you. And of course, I don't need to remind you, it's entirely tax deductible. [Missy whispers in Sheldon's ear] And at the next pancake breakfast, you can hold your head high. Thank you.
That's very generous. Goodbye. [hangs up phone] The pancake line closed it.
Missy: We are so going to heaven.

Mary: Hey, what you reading?
Missy: A magazine.
Mary: Oh. Making a collage for school?
Missy: No, just reading it.
Mary: Look at that. Maybe Sheldon isn't the only bookworm around here. Which magazine?
Missy: Cosmopolitan.
Mary: What?
Missy: It's a magazine for today's woman. [Mary takes the magazine] Hey! I was about to find out what turns a man on.

Meemaw: You know, if I had something in my room she might disapprove of, I might be looking for a real good hiding place right about now.
George Jr.: I think I'm okay.
Missy: Your air vent? [Georgie rushes back to his room]

Missy: Why can't we watch Duck Tales?
Sheldon: Because we don't learn anything.
Missy: It's TV! We aren't supposed to learn.

Mary: Oh, thank you, Lord, for connecting us with the parents of another special child. [Mary sees Georgie and Missy sitting on the couch] You kids are special, too.
George Jr.: Do you feel special?
Missy: At least I'm the only daughter. You got nothing.

[Missy outside her parents' bedroom eavesdropping on their conversation]
George Sr.: Like I'm some kind of loser, a booby prize.
Missy: Booby prize.
Mary: What was that? [Missy runs away and knocks on Georgie's door, he comes out just as Mary opens her door] Georgie, you mind your own business.
George Jr.: What did I do?

Sheldon: Mom! Meemaw swatted me on the bottom!
Mary: What? Why?
Sheldon: I wanted something, and then she said no, and then I called her selfish, and then she went crazy!
Mary: Let me call her.
Missy: Really? You don't want to thank her in person?

Missy: We'll be okay on our own.
Sheldon: Yeah, we need to prove we can do this.
Meemaw: All right. I respect that. And I'm happy to keep this little incident a secret.
Missy: Really? I'm telling everyone. It was hilarious.

Missy: All I know is, he's not in the same grade as me any more. And I'm thrilled.

Missy: Didn't you already read that book?
Sheldon: I'm reading it again.
Missy: How come?
Sheldon: I clearly missed something. I couldn't find one person who wanted to be my friend.
Missy: Did you look at the card inside?
Sheldon: Why? That's just other people who checked out the book.
Missy: It's a list of losers like you who can't find a friend.
Sheldon: So?
Missy: So they're desperate, and you have their names.

Mary: And you are not to bring filth like this into our house again.
Missy: That's not fair. Sheldon reads dirty stuff all the time, and you don't say anything.
Mary: He does not.
Missy: Check out the comic book on his desk.
Mary: What? Oh, my goodness. Oh. Oh, my. Hold on. No. No. Th-This blue man's backside is all over the place.
Missy: On page 112, you get to see his front side.

Missy: Why is the monkey invisible?
Sheldon: I don't know.
Missy: Is it a ghost monkey?
Sheldon: Sure.
Missy: Then why isn't he in heaven?
Sheldon: Because there is no heaven.
Missy: What about monkey heaven?
Sheldon: There is no monkey heaven. There is no regular heaven. When we die, we cease to exist. That's it.
Missy: You better hope you're right. 'Cause if I end up in regular heaven and you end up in hell, I'm gonna laugh. But if you end up in monkey hell, I'm gonna laugh even harder.
Sheldon: Just paint your nails.
Missy: [prays] God, when Sheldon dies, please send him to monkey hell. Amen.