George Cooper Quotes Page 1 of 4
George Sr.: And Sheldon's fine. You know what he's like. If someone took him, I'm sure they'll bring him right back.
Quote from Demons, Sunday School, and Prime Numbers
Mary: Anyway, I'm sorry to drag you into this, but it is demons, so it's in your purview.
Pastor Jeff: It is indeed. In fact, at a recent Young Baptist Leaders Conference, I attended a seminar on satanic leisure activities.
Pastor Jeff: And the important lesson is, rather than have a parent or authority figure take the offending game away, let God remove it, root and stem.
Meemaw: Question, PJ. Uh, how's the big guy do that?
Pastor Jeff: Simple, Sheldon needs to start attending Sunday school. If he likes books with demons and devils, I've got one that will blow his mind.
George Sr.: What book is that?
Mary: The Bible, George.
George Sr.: Sure, yeah.
Quote from A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside
George Sr.: Looks like your house is okay.
Meemaw: You were just worried I might have to come live with you.
George Sr.: Oh, I think the word you're looking for is "terrified".
Quote from A Crisis of Faith and Octopus Aliens
Sheldon: And then I said octopus aliens didn't need to become Christian because they're not affected by original sin.
Missy: You should've been there; Pastor Jeff almost started crying.
George Sr.: Oh, now I'm sorry I missed it.
Mary: That's your fault for having a hangover.
George Sr.: Or it's God's fault for putting Sunday morning after Saturday night.
Quote from Carbon Dating and a Stuffed Raccoon
Sheldon: Dad, do you believe that fossils are millions of years old?
George Sr.: I guess. Why?
Sheldon: Well, Mom believes the world was only created 6,000 years ago.
George Sr.: Yeah. So?
Sheldon: Are these differences a sticking point in your marriage?
George Sr.: Not at all.
George Sr.: Simple. We never talk about it.
Sheldon: So you just avoid discussing topics you don't agree on?
George Sr.: At all costs.
Quote from A Proposal and a Popsicle Stick Cross
George Sr.: You mind putting down my kid?
Clint Watson: We were just playing around.
Veronica: This is my mom's boyfriend, Clint.
George Sr.: Hello, Clint. What can we do for you?
Clint Watson: I'm here to pick up Veronica. Come on.
George Sr.: You want to go with this man?
Veronica: No, sir.
George Sr.: You heard her. Thanks for stopping by.
Clint Watson: You really want to mess with me?
George Sr.: Sure. Why not?
Mary: What's going on out there?
George Sr.: You might want to call the police.
George Sr.: There's a bum sleeping on our front porch.
Mary: You're a good dad.
George Sr.: If I don't kill one of them before Sunday, I'm a good dad.
Quote from Pilot
George Sr.: What the hell were you doing out there?
Mary: George, language.
George Sr.: What language?
Quote from A Brisket, Voodoo, and Cannonball Run
George Sr.: I'll be right back.
George Jr.: Mind if I have a sip of your beer?
George Sr.: You mind if I dip your head in the compost heap?
George Jr.: You could have just said no.
Mary: All right, let's say grace.
George Jr.: [SNIFFLES] Guess I get to hold hands with you now.
George Sr.: Guess so. Maybe Sheldon's mittens weren't such a bad idea.