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‘Body Glitter and a Mall Safety Kit’ Quotes

Young Sheldon: Body Glitter and a Mall Safety Kit

312. Body Glitter and a Mall Safety Kit

Aired January 16, 2020

Sheldon learns to listen when an emotional Paige struggles with her parents' divorce. Also, George Sr. is furious when Georgie tries to buy his way out of chores.

Quote from Meemaw

George Sr.: No more coffee?
Meemaw: Last cup.
George Sr.: Well, you mind making more?
Meemaw: I just sat down.
George Sr.: But you finished the pot.
Meemaw: George, if I wanted to make a cup of coffee, I'd have stayed at my house. Mmm.
George Sr.: One day I'm gonna put you in a home, and I'm gonna smile just like that.
Meemaw: That's fine. By then I won't know who you are anyway.

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Quote from George Sr.

Mary: Apparently she's taking the divorce really hard. I guess she's been having trouble in school.
Meemaw: Aw, poor thing.
Mary: Linda thinks Sheldon might be a good influence, you know, maybe rub off on her a little bit.
George Sr.: What, she wants her kid to be more like Sheldon? I don't know what to say about that.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Paige, you're supposed to be doing science with me.
Paige: That's boring. I want to do something dangerous.
Sheldon: This is dangerous. We don't have an eye wash station.

Quote from Missy

Paige: Let's go to the mall.
Sheldon: Mom doesn't like the mall.
Missy: She says the mannequins don't have enough clothes on, but I think it's 'cause we're poor.
Sheldon: We are poor. I do our taxes.

Quote from Sheldon

Paige: Why are you taking a backpack to the mall?
Sheldon: This is my mall safety kit. Earplugs to drown out crowd noise, Wet-Naps to wipe down escalator handrails, a compass, a map of the mall, and a whistle, in case I get lost or approached by a woman holding a perfume bottle.
Missy: You want to stuff him in there, right?
Paige: No. [nods]

Quote from Sheldon

Mary: Okay, Paige, where should we go to get your backpack?
Paige: The Hello Kitty store.
Sheldon: I would help you find it, but this subpar mall map isn't even oriented north.
Missy: Let's go.
Mary: All right, have fun at the Hello Kitty store, and meet me at the fountain in half an hour.
Sheldon: Just to be clear, there are no actual kitties, right?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: This isn't the Hello Kitty store.
Paige: No. It's Hot Topic.
Sheldon: What's the topic, devil worship?
Missy: Hey, did you know there's a bow tie section in the back?
Sheldon: Why would they hide that in the back? [exits]

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I didn't see any bow ties, just a shirt with a bad word on it. What did you put in your pocket?
Paige: Nothing.
Sheldon: Are you guys stealing? Because if you are, I am prepared to literally blow the whistle on you.

Quote from Sheldon

Missy: Let's just get out of here.
Sheldon: Good. Everyone behind the counter has an earring where an earring does not belong.

Quote from George Jr.

George Sr.: Well, I was thinking you and I could go grab a burger.
George Jr.: Why?
George Sr.: 'Cause I thought it'd be a nice thing to do.
George Jr.: Which restaurant?
George Sr.: Why does it matter?
George Jr.: Well, McDonald's burgers are fried, and sometimes I like flame-broiled.
George Sr.: Fine, we can go to Burger King.
George Jr.: I don't like the fries at Burger King. Ooh, Arby's has those curly fries. Shoot, they don't have burgers.
George Sr.: [tersely] Then let's go to Whataburger.
George Jr.: Okay, but I hope you're not this cranky the whole meal.
George Sr.: [exhales]

Quote from Meemaw

Meemaw: You swim here?
George Jr.: Dad kicked me out of his truck. I had to walk back.
Meemaw: [chuckles] What dumb thing did you say or do?
George Jr.: How do you know I'm the one who did something dumb?
Meemaw: 'Cause you kind of shine at it.
George Jr.: All I did is offer to pay to fix his AC.
Meemaw: And there it is. Dumb.

Quote from Meemaw

George Jr.: What's wrong with that?
Meemaw: Your dad is a grown man. He doesn't want his kid giving him money.
George Jr.: So he's glad I'm making money, but I'm not allowed to use that money to help him out? I don't get it.
Meemaw: Well, someday, when you have a bunch of sweaty, mullet-headed kids running around, you will.
George Jr.: Oh, I ain't never having kids.
Meemaw: Well, that's the smartest thing I ever heard you say.
George Jr.: Thank you.

Quote from Sheldon

Dr. John Sturgis: [on the phone] John Sturgis at your service.
Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis, Sheldon Cooper.
Dr. John Sturgis: Hello, Sheldon. How are you doing?
Sheldon: Confused, upset, annoyed, and potentially in trouble with the law.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, in which order would you like to handle this?
Sheldon: Let's start with confused, but if we hear sirens approaching, we'll jump ahead.

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Dr. John Sturgis: [on the phone] What's on your mind?
Sheldon: Do you ever wish that you weren't smart?
Dr. John Sturgis: So I would be short, lonely and stupid? No, that seems worse.

Quote from Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: [v.o.] Dr. Sturgis was right. There was nothing I could do to fix this, or so I thought.
Sheldon: Can I offer you a hot beverage?
Paige: That would be nice.
Sheldon: Be right back.
Adult Sheldon: The "Hot Beverage of Comfort" would become my go-to method of dealing with someone in emotional distress. And it always worked. Except when my wife was in labor, where it was suggested I throw it in my own face.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

George Sr.: What you doing?
Sheldon: Paige is feeling sad, so I'm making her a hot beverage.
George Sr.: Oh. You're a good kid. I'm proud of you.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Adult Sheldon: [v.o.] Of all my accomplishments, I don't know why he singled this moment out, but I'm glad he did.


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