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‘A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish’ Quotes

Young Sheldon: A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

120. A Dog, a Squirrel, and a Fish Named Fish

Aired April 26, 2018

The Cooper and Sparks families go to war when the Sparks' new dog takes an interest in Sheldon.

Quote from Meemaw

Brenda Sparks: Well, I'm sorry, but you shouldn't be inferring there's something wrong with my Billy.
Meemaw: Darlin', there's no inferring. I've seen the boy sitting in the dirt eating his own belly button lint.


Quote from Sheldon

Meemaw: Here, have some tea.
Sheldon: Chamomile?
Meemaw: Yes.
Sheldon: One teaspoon of honey?
Meemaw: Yes.
Sheldon: An ice cube to cool it off?
Meemaw: I went with two today. You've been through enough.
Sheldon: [drinking] I prefer one ice cube.
Meemaw: Drink it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: He licked me! He licked me! The dog licked my tongue! I can still taste it! Call 911!

Quote from Sheldon

Mary: How's it going in there, baby?
Sheldon: [gargling, spits] Okay, but we're gonna need more Listerine.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: In physics, nothing feels better than predicting an outcome. I love predictability. The force of gravity: predictable. Nuclear fusion: predictable. My brother peeing in the shower: repulsive, but predictable. What isn't predictable: dogs. I've always been terrified of dogs. To me, they're nothing but big, furry question marks. Question marks with teeth.

Quote from George Jr.

George Jr.: It's nice when the kids are in bed, and we can just hang out and relax.
George Sr.: I'm not even gonna respond to that.

Quote from George Sr.

George Sr.: I don't understand why that dog is so interested in Sheldon.
Missy: Maybe Bucky likes the way Sheldon smells?
George Sr.: Your brother washes himself three times a day. He has no smell.

Quote from Meemaw

Mary: Really, Mom? This is how you put out the fire?
Meemaw: Well, at least she got the worst of it.
George Sr.: How you figure that?
Meemaw: I ripped a big patch of hair out of her head. This will be healed in a week. She will be wearing a hat till Labor Day.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Excuse me, Ms. Hutchins?
Ms. Hutchins: Hey, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Can you recommend any books on overcoming phobias?
Ms. Hutchins: That's in the self-help section. Follow me, I have read them all. Any phobia in particular?
Sheldon: Dogs.
Ms. Hutchins: Ah, cynophobia. That's a good one. Did you know there's over 50 million dogs just in the United States alone?
Sheldon: That's 50 million too many.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Hello, I'd like to speak with the veterinarian. Well, I was hoping you might have one or two dogs under anesthesia that I might come by and pet. Sure, I'll hold.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: [on the phone with a veterinary practice] Yes, hello? Oh, that's too bad. How about a small fluffy one that's recently died of old age?

Quote from Missy

Pastor Jeff: Now, it says here in Mark 12:31 that you should "Love your neighbor as yourself.
" Anybody like to take a guess what that means? Missy?
Missy: It means to be nice to the people who live next door.
Pastor Jeff: That's right.
Missy: But everybody else can go to hell.

Quote from Sheldon

Mary: What are you gonna name him?
Sheldon: Fish.
Mary: Fish?
Sheldon: I'm not ready to get attached.

Quote from Sheldon

Missy: Fish are kind of boring.
Sheldon: I know, isn't it great?

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