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‘A Crisis of Faith and Octopus Aliens’ Quotes

Young Sheldon: A Crisis of Faith and Octopus Aliens

203. A Crisis of Faith and Octopus Aliens

Aired October 4, 2018

After a tragedy in the local community, Mary's faith is shaken. Seeing his mother doubt everything she believes, Sheldon becomes an unlikely ally.

Quote from Sheldon

Mary: Sheldon, faith means believing in something you can't know for sure is real. And right now, I am struggling with that.
Sheldon: So you don't believe in God anymore?
Mary: That isn't something for you to worry about. I need to figure this out myself.
Sheldon: Can I help? Maybe I could provide a fresh perspective.
Mary: I don't think so, baby.
Sheldon: Did you know that if gravity were slightly more powerful, the universe would collapse into a ball?
Mary: I did not.
Sheldon: Also, if gravity were slightly less powerful, the universe would fly apart and there would be no stars or planets.
Mary: Where you going with this, Sheldon?
Sheldon: It's just that gravity is precisely as strong as it needs to be. And if the ratio of the electromagnetic force to the strong force wasn't one percent, life wouldn't exist. What are the odds that would happen all by itself?
Mary: Why are you trying to convince me to believe in God? You don't believe in God.
Sheldon: I don't, but the precision of the universe at least makes it logical to conclude there's a creator.
Mary: Baby, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but logic is here. And my problem is here.
Sheldon: Well, there are 5 billion people on this planet and you're the perfect mom for me. What are the odds of that?

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Quote from George Sr.

Sheldon: And then I said octopus aliens didn't need to become Christian because they're not affected by original sin.
Missy: You should've been there; Pastor Jeff almost started crying.
George Sr.: Oh, now I'm sorry I missed it.
Mary: That's your fault for having a hangover.
George Sr.: Or it's God's fault for putting Sunday morning after Saturday night.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Any more thoughts on Radio Shack?
Meemaw: Sheldon, do you really think this is the appropriate time to ask that question?
Sheldon: I did, but now I'm second-guessing myself.

Quote from Meemaw

Missy: How come we don't get to go to the funeral?
Meemaw: Why would you want to go to a funeral?
Missy: I've never been to one.
Meemaw: When you get to be my age, you get to go to plenty.
Missy: That's, like, a hundred years from now.
Meemaw: You make it hard to love you.

Quote from George Jr.

Missy: Do you really see a dead body?
Meemaw: Sometimes.
Sheldon: How close do you get to it?
Meemaw: Real close, if you want.
Missy: And the clothes they're wearing, is that the clothes they become a ghost in?
George Jr.: Depends. In the movie Ghost, Patrick Swayze has on the outfit that he dies in. Casper runs around butt naked.
Missy: Maybe he died naked.
George Jr.: That's fun to think about.
Meemaw: And y'all wonder why you're not at the funeral.

Quote from Mary

Mary: I pray that you protect Sheldon in all that he does.
Sheldon: What are you doing?
Mary: I'm praying for you.
Sheldon: She needs it more than I do.
Mary: You think I didn't start with her?

Quote from George Jr.

George Jr.: Would you feel more confident if I told you I already know how to drive?
George Sr.: Video games don't count.
George Jr.: I'll have you know I've driven Meemaw's car. I also drove your truck one night while you were sleeping.
George Sr.: Are you crazy?!
George Jr.: I parked it and everything, you had no idea.
George Sr.: Okay, let let me get this straight. You're trying to prove to me that you're a responsible person by admitting you stole my truck.
George Jr.: I said I was responsible, never said I was smart.

Quote from Meemaw

Mary: Hey. Let's go out.
Meemaw: Go out where?
Mary: I don't know, Dairy Queen, shooting range, line dancing?
Meemaw: Have you been drinking?
Mary: I might've had a wine cooler or two.
Meemaw: Sweetheart, that ain't drinking.

Quote from Missy

Missy: Mom also does the good night dance.
George Sr.: Now you're just screwing with me. Night.
Sheldon: You should've gone with "sings us a lullaby."
Missy: Yeah, I got cocky.

Quote from George Sr.

George Jr.: Where were you last night?
Mary: Out with your grandmother.
George Jr.: But where'd you go?
George Sr.: Enough questions.
George Jr.: Y'all ask me questions when I come home late.
George Sr.: Oh, I can explain that you're an idiot and we don't trust you.

Quote from Meemaw

Bruce: Looks like you could use a shoulder to cry on.
Meemaw: No, she does not need a shoulder to cry on, but I do need a place to store my pool stick.
Bruce: Maybe I'd like that.
Meemaw: Get!


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