TV Quotes

Amy: I tried to ask him about it, and he invoked section three, article five of the marriage contract: beeswax comma none of your.

Amy: Who's Tam?
Sheldon: He was my best friend in the whole world growing up.
Amy: Really? Why have I never heard you mention him before?
Sheldon: Oh, of course I have. I'm sure I've mentioned him, like, five times this week.
Amy: I don't think you have.
Sheldon: Tam! Tam! Tam! Tam! Tam! There, it's only Thursday.
Amy: I didn't just drink the crazy milk, I bought the crazy cow.

Amy: Hey, did you guys know that Sheldon had a best friend growing up named Tam?
Leonard: Was that the imaginary talking koala?
Amy: No. He's a real person who apparently betrayed him.
Leonard: Yeah, so did the koala.

Howard: Wow. I wonder what that guy could've done to make Sheldon not talk to him for 20 years.
Leonard: I wonder if it'd work a second time.

Penny: Okay, listen, I'm really worried about this whole Raj thing.
Bernadette: I know, he's so desperate to get married, which is weird, because I can't imagine we make it look that great.
Penny: I know, right?

Bernadette: Well, I could ask my dad. Maybe he can get some of his old cop buddies to do a background check on her.
Penny: Would he do that?
Bernadette: Of course. He's a retired cop who plays by his own rules. [on the phone] Hi, Daddy. No, everything's good. I just have a favor to ask. Yeah, so, my friend Raj is marrying this woman that he barely knows, and I wanted to see if you could use your connections to dig up any dirt on her. Uh-huh. Sure. Okay. Love you.
Penny: Is he in?
Bernadette: Absolutely not. He won't do it. It's totally illegal.
Penny: I thought you said he played by his own rules.
Bernadette: He does, but apparently, they're very similar to the actual rules.

Howard: All right, got his enemies list. Ooh, he updated the interface. You can search by first name, last name or length of grudge.
Raj: Is Tam on it?
Howard: Let's see. Yep. Right here. Tam Nguyen.
Leonard: Oh, great. What did he do?
Howard: Hold on. I have to agree to the terms of service. No, I'm not a robot. Okay.
"Which of these are plants?" And we're in.

Sheldon: When I moved to California, what did you do?
Tam: I stayed in Texas.
Sheldon: Do you believe this guy?!

Howard: So, he was your best friend growing up?
Tam: Yes.
Howard: Were there no other kids in Texas?

Sheldon: Howard, today is your lucky day. Leonard's out, you're my new best friend. Well, I'm not thrilled about it either, but here we are. Okay, fine. Is Bernadette there? Sh- No? Just Stuart? Let me call you back.

Tam: Sheldon, come here.
Sheldon: Bazinga!

[After montage of classic The Big Bang Theory moments with Tam as Sheldon's roommate]
Sheldon: No, my life would've still been great.

Tam: I didn't mean to upset you. And I want you to know I'm really proud of everything you've done.
Sheldon: Thank you. It did work out for me. And I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you.
Tam: They did work out for me.
Sheldon: Oh, Tam, you don't need to be brave on my account.
Tam: I'm not. I have a great wife and amazing children. I'm very happy.
Sheldon: Brave, brave Tam.

Amy: Hey, whatcha doing?
Sheldon: Improving our wedding photos.
Amy: Oh, that's nice. Wait, I'm still in them, right?

Sheldon: Of course.And not only you. I've added some guests who couldn't be there.
Amy: Who's that next to my father?
Sheldon: The Wright brothers.
Amy: And why are they at our wedding?
Sheldon: Orville, because I admire him; Wilbur, because he was Orville's plus-one.

Raj: Guys, I need your help, okay? I'm trying to buy her engagement ring. What do you think of this? Do you think she'll like this one?
Bernadette: Well, it's hard to say, not knowing much about her. Does she have fingers?
Raj: Yes, she has ten fingers and ten toes. Probably. I'll get back to you after I see her in sandals.

Bernadette: I'm pumping!
Penny: It's Penny.
Bernadette: Oh, come in.
Penny: I thought you were pumping.
Bernadette: I thought you were my boss.

Penny: You know, if this woman's gonna be around, I think we should check her out a little. I looked online. She doesn't have an Instagram, which means she's either 80 or something's wrong with her.

Leonard: I still can't believe Sheldon had a best friend we've never heard about.
Raj: Ooh, somebody's jealous.
Leonard: I'm not jealous.
Howard: Leonard, this is a safe space. It's okay to be vulnerable.
Leonard: All I'm saying is you know the timing of a fellow's bowel movements, you don't think there's a lot left to discover.

Howard: I wonder what Tam could have done.
Raj: Hmm. Well, if Sheldon doesn't want to talk about it, it's got to be pretty upsetting.
Howard: I have his brother George's number, he might know.
Leonard: Really? You have George's number?
Raj: So so jealous!