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‘The Opening Night Excitation’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Big Bang Theory: The Opening Night Excitation

911. The Opening Night Excitation

Aired December 17, 2015

After more than five years of dating, Sheldon and Amy spend their first night together. Also, Leonard, Wolowitz, and Koothrappali must decide who will take their extra Star Wars movie ticket.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Okay, what is going on?
Penny: We just want you to be prepared for any surprises that could happen tomorrow.
Amy: What surprises?
Bernadette: We don't want to spoil anything, but you should know that Sheldon said he's ready to be physical.
Amy: You shut your damn mouth! You actually heard him say this?
Penny: Yes, he said he wants to do something to show you how much you mean to him.
Amy: I can't believe it. I don't know what to say.
Bernadette: Well, we're really happy for you and we know how much-
Amy: I do know what to say. Let's get me waxed!

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Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: (3 knocks) Penny! (3 knocks) Penny! (3 knocks) Penny!
Bernadette: What happens if I say come in?
Penny: Well, find out.
Bernadette: Come in!
Sheldon: (silence)
(3 knocks) Bernadette! (3 knocks) Bernadette! (3 knocks) Bernadette!
Penny: Come in!
Sheldon: Keep it up. I've got nowhere else to be.
Bernadette: Just come in.
Sheldon: For future reference, if I want to watch Mean Girls, I'll just stream it on Netflix.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Then it's settled. Amy's birthday present will be my genitals.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: You guys just got back together. You might not want to ditch her on her birthday.
Leonard: I think Penny has a point. You can see it another day.
Sheldon: But someone might spoil the movie. No one can spoil Amy's birthday for me. Surprise, she's even older. Who saw that coming?
Penny: Aww, that's nice. Put that on her cake.

Quote from Bernadette

Penny: Okay, let's just recap our options. We've got harp thing, sheep thing-
Bernadette: Wild thang.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh, I should probably tell you something about this gift.
Amy: You mean, before you give it to me?
Sheldon: Yes. But may I ask you a question before I give it to you?
Amy: Of course.
Sheldon: Why are we saying give it to you like that?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.
Amy: Me too!
Sheldon: I look forward to your next birthday when we do it again!
Amy: That works for me.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Sheldon, what's wrong?
Sheldon: I wanted to let you know I'll be spending your birthday with you.
Amy: Okay.
Sheldon: See, I had tickets to the Star Wars premiere that night, but Professor Proton came to me in a dream, dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi, and convinced me that I should be with you.
Amy: Obi-what?
Sheldon: I'll let you get back to sleep now. Good night.
Amy: Good night. Uh, Sheldon, were you actually not going to spend my birthday with me?
Sheldon: (feigning sleepiness) It's late, gotta go, bye.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, this is different. Candles and music.
Amy: Do you like it?
Sheldon: It's kind of spooky.
Amy: I can change it back.
Sheldon: No, it's your birthday. As long as no one jumps out in a hockey mask, I'll be fine.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Sheldon, I know your present is for us to be intimate tonight.
Sheldon: I see. Is that all right?
(Amy kisses Sheldon)
Sheldon: I'm sorry, but this is a litigious society. I'm going to need verbal consent.
Amy: Yes!

Quote from Sheldon

Bernadette: Come on, it could be romantic. The two of them away together, keeping each other warm in snowy Wisconsin.
Sheldon: Oh, no, no, no, no. She'd be going alone. If you think I'm scared of birds, you should see me around sheep.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Well, what's the third option?
Sheldon: That I have coitus with her.
(Penny's wine glass smashes in her hand)

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: All right, this goes against everything I stand for, but desperate times call for desperate measures. (Kneels down to pray) Lord, this is Sheldon Cooper, you're good friends with my mom. I know I've spent my life denying that you exist-
Howard: Got them!
Sheldon: -and I will continue do so!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: (3 knocks) Birthday girl! (3 knocks) Birthday girl! (3 knocks) Birthday girl!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Sorry I'm late. I also got you a balloon, but it floated away and I chased it for a while.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Guys, tickets already went on sale.
Sheldon: What?
Howard: They're not supposed to be available yet.
Leonard: I don't know what to tell you, but they're already available.
Raj: Wait, are you sure they're Star Wars tickets?
Leonard: No, it's Steel Magnolias 2: Even Steelier.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, as you know, I'll be celebrating Amy's birthday with her, and I could use your assistance in helping me select the perfect gift.
Bernadette: Sure.
Sheldon: So far I've come up with three ideas. The first, is a chance for her to play the harp with the L.A. Philharmonic.
Penny: Wow. You can really arrange that?
Sheldon: I said a chance. When you tell them it's your birthday at Bennigan's they make a fuss. I don't see why the Philharmonic would be any different.

Quote from Sheldon

Bernadette: How about something a little more realistic?
Sheldon: Well, Amy enjoys knitting her own sweaters, so I was thinking of getting her an all expenses-paid trip to the Wisconsin Sheep and Wool Festival.
Penny: (Silence) Sorry, I was waiting for the Bazinga!

Quote from Penny

Raj: I can't believe Sheldon gave this up.
Leonard: I know. We're gonna have so much more fun than him.
Bernadette: No, they're not.
Penny: Knowing them, they will.

Quote from Raj

Raj: I don't think I can walk right now.

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