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‘The Mystery Date Observation’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Big Bang Theory: The Mystery Date Observation

908. The Mystery Date Observation

Aired November 12, 2015

Sheldon, Wolowitz and Koothrappali post an online advertisement to find Sheldon a new girlfriend. Also, when Amy is coy with details about a guy she is dating, Penny and Bernadette decide to spy.

Quote from Howard

Howard: If you don't want to use dating Web sites, what do you suggest?
Sheldon: Off the top of my head? Prospective women weed themselves out in a battle of wits until only one champion remains, she shows up at my door flush with the thrill of victory, and then sits quietly by my side while I watch Daredevil.
Howard: You seriously think women would fight for you?
Sheldon: People compete for jobs and trophies, why not me?
Howard: He's right. He knows a lot of jokes.

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Quote from Penny

Penny: Come on, Amy, show us the dress.
Amy: Okay, but I'm really stepping outside of my comfort zone here.
Penny: Uh, I don't think any of your comfort zones are showing.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: I think it's so adorable you're making Sheldon breakfast.
Leonard: Well, he's having a rough time. Amy broke his heart, the DVR cut off the last minute of Doctor Who, that crow followed him home.

Quote from Raj

Raj: You're not wrong about Fruit Stripe. I-I was always a Hubba Bubba man.
Howard: Hubba Bubba over Dubble Bubble? You're crazy.
Raj: Hey, the jaw wants what it wants.

Quote from Penny

Bernadette: Yeah, it's your third date, maybe you could go more sexy.
Amy: Well, some people think the sexiest organ is the brain.
Penny: No one ever bought me drinks at a bar because my brain just popped out of my shirt.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Are you sure? I've heard that on those sites, often when you think you're corresponding with someone, it's actually a computer program pretending to be a real person.
Raj: And you're afraid it'll do a better job than you?
Sheldon: Excuse me. No one does a better job pretending to be a person than I do. Siri comes close, but I know more jokes.

Quote from Bernadette

Penny: Oh, my God, they're coming right towards us.
Bernadette: We got to get out of here.
Penny: Okay. Well, wait, what about Leonard?
Bernadette: He and his tiny bladder can take the bus!

Quote from Leonard

Dave: OMG! Aren't you Leonard Hofstadter?
Leonard: Yeah.
Dave: I saw you speak at Stanford with Sheldon Cooper! Amy, can you believe it? It's Dr. Leonard Hofstadter!
Amy: No. Pinch me.
Dave: It's an absolute pleasure to meet you. Can I shake your hand?
Leonard: I don't know if you want to do that, I was just-
Okay, never mind.
Dave: Amy, I'm never washing this hand again.
Leonard: You really should.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: How could you send her away?!
Sheldon: She was late. And she found atomic spectroscopy boring. I wouldn't coitus her with your genitals.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I realized something. When Amy was in my life, I was hyper-focused on my work and ignored her.
Penny: And you don't want to make the same mistake with the next woman.
Sheldon: No, I need a new woman in my life to ignore so I can hyper-focus on my work again.

Quote from Amy

Penny: Well, we're your best friends. Give us one more detail and we promise we'll leave you alone.
Amy: Fine. Umm ... he's British.
(Penny and Bernadette squeal)
Amy: All right, that is a juicy one.

Quote from Penny

Amy: I'm gonna go look for other shoes.
Penny: Good luck. I threw out all my tall ones when I married Leonard.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: So you're actually okay with invading your friend's privacy?
Penny: You're not curious who she's out with?
Leonard: Not really.
Penny: But you're curious about aluminum cans. You're a weird little guy.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: Maybe you don't want someone exactly like you. You know what they say: opposites attract.
Sheldon: Well, by that logic, I should be with someone short, dull and needy, eh? Not to cast aspersions, but I can't shake a stick around here without hitting that.

Quote from Howard

Raj: 60 seconds. This is not looking good.
Sheldon: One minute is a long time.
Howard: I've been telling women that for 20 years.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: I don't understand why we're leaving so early for the movie.
Penny: Oh, I forgot to tell you, we're gonna meet up with Bernadette to spy on Amy and her date.
Leonard: What? I don't want to do that.
Penny: What, and you think I want to see a documentary about aluminum can recycling?
Leonard: This is the movie Big Soda doesn't want you to see.
Penny: No, it's the movie your wife doesn't want you to see.

Quote from Raj

Raj: But it is basic human nature. If we present him as a prize, maybe they would.
Howard: Well, he's smart, he's a respected scientist-
Sheldon: And I have the soulful eyes of a cow.
Raj: I don't know if I'd say you - Oh.

Quote from Bernadette

Leonard: Okay, we saw them. Can we go catch the movie?
Bernadette: Why'd you bring him?
Penny: I had to. We're married now.
Bernadette: Ugh, I hear that.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: You sure you're up for that? She did hurt you.
Sheldon: Oh, no, it's all right. I think of my time with Amy as a stick of Fruit Stripe gum: sweet and enjoyable at first, but ultimately a flavorless lump of sadness.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: Hey, you want to swing by that place tonight and get a look at this guy?
Penny: We don't even know what time they're gonna be there.
Bernadette: I'll just call the restaurant, pretend I'm Amy and check the reservation.
Penny: Damn, you're sneaky.
Bernadette: Yeah, but I'm little, so it's adorable.

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