‘The Maternal Combustion’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

823. The Maternal Combustion
Aired April 30, 2015
When Sheldon and Leonard receive an award for the paper they co-wrote together, their mothers pay a visit to Pasadena. Sparks fly between Mary Cooper and Beverly Hofstadter when they can't see eye to eye on religion or psychiatry. Meanwhile, Bernadette has had enough of feeling like a mother to three teenage boys, so Howard, Stuart and Raj are ordered to clean the kitchen.
Quote from Stuart
Raj: How old is this Jell-O?
Stuart: Well, it's carrots, so I'm gonna say very.
Quote from Penny
Beverly Hofstadter: Come to Mommy.
Penny: It's okay. Go ahead.
*Leonard hugs Beverly*
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, my son.
Leonard: Oh, my mother.
Penny: Oh, my God.
Quote from Raj
Bernadette: Okay, I don't know when I became the mother to three lazy teenagers, but it stops today. You guys are cleaning the kitchen top to bottom.
Raj: Hey, I don't even live here.
Bernadette: Yes or no, do you have clothes in my laundry right now?
Raj: I do. And some of it's wool, so dry flat if possible.
Quote from Leonard
Penny: Leonard, what time does your mom's plane get in?
Leonard: I don't know. Sometime tomorrow morning.
Penny: Don't you want to know for sure?
Leonard: No need to. As soon as she flies into California airspace, I'll feel a disturbance in the Force.
Quote from Sheldon
Amy: Do you think the moms will get along?
Leonard: I don't know. They're pretty different.
Sheldon: Maybe they'll be best friends. One of them is brilliant, one is sweet and simple.
*to Leonard*
Sound familiar?
Quote from Penny
Penny: You know, your mom's never been too thrilled with our relationship. Maybe I should get her something so she warms up to me.
Leonard: If you could run out and get a PhD, that might make her like you.
Penny: Really? It didn't work for you.
Quote from Sheldon
Leonard: So, Mom, you haven't seen Penny since we got engaged.
Penny: Yeah, let me show you the ring.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, lovely. Must have been very expensive.
Sheldon: Oh, no, not at all. No, we found a place online that repurposes diamond drill bits.
Leonard: We did not. That's not true. Can I speak to you alone for a second?
Sheldon: Oh, sure.
Leonard: It came from Tiffany's.
Sheldon: You mean the box, right?
Leonard: Keep walking!
Quote from Leonard
Leonard: Even with your mother here, you are deliberately hogging all the attention from my mom. You're like one of those elephant seal pups that steals the milk from two mothers!
Sheldon: Do you mean what marine biologists refer to as "super weaning"?
Leonard: Yes, you are a super weaner!
Quote from Penny
Beverly Hofstadter: His name is Sigmund Freud.
Penny: Hey! Look at that. You both believe in Jewish bearded guys.
Mary Cooper: Stay out of this.
Penny: Uh-huh.
Quote from Amy
Amy: Sure, his mom gets roses. When I want them, they're a "bouquet of severed plant genitals."
Sheldon: You act like I didn't get you that mushroom log on Valentine's Day.
Amy: He's right. Roses die, but a moist rotting log will pump out mushrooms for two or three magical years.
Quote from Leonard
Beverly Hofstadter: I read your paper. It was very impressive.
Sheldon: Oh, thank you.
Leonard: We just spent two hours in traffic. Did you think to mention to me that you liked our paper?
Beverly Hofstadter: Of course I did, but it's a mother's job to make sure her child's self-esteem is not dependent on anyone's approval.
Leonard: That's so sweet, you think I have self-esteem.
Quote from Leonard
Mary Cooper: How was your flight?
Beverly Hofstadter: Very pleasant. And yours?
Mary Cooper: Lovely. Almost as if someone - not saying who - was watching over the plane.
Beverly Hofstadter: You're kidding, right?
Leonard: Subtle, mom, real subtle.
Quote from Sheldon
Beverly Hofstadter: Mary, I'm curious. When did you first realize that your son had such a remarkable mind?
Sheldon: Ooh, good question. Everyone loves stories about Sheldon Cooper, boy genius.
Quote from Leonard
Beverly Hofstadter: Sounds like Sheldon was a handful.
Mary Cooper: Oh, he was a handful.
Sheldon: I was a handful.
Leonard: You still are.
Quote from Howard
Bernadette: Guys. In the time you've been sitting here playing video games, I got the car washed, picked up cleaning supplies and went to the bank.
Stuart: I put on pants.
Howard: Kiss-ass.