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‘The Loobenfeld Decay’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Big Bang Theory: The Loobenfeld Decay

110. The Loobenfeld Decay

Aired March 24, 2008

When Leonard lies to Penny to avoid having to see her perform in a musical, Sheldon becomes concerned with the flimsiness of Leonard's lie. Sheldon constructs a much more elaborate lie which leads to the appearance of a fictional cousin.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I am uncomfortable having been included in your lie to Penny.
Leonard: What was I supposed to say?
Sheldon: You could have told her the truth.
Leonard: I could not have said that, it would have hurt her feelings.
Sheldon: Is that a relevant factor?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Then I suppose you could have agreed to go.
Leonard: What would I have said afterwards?
Sheldon: I would suggest something along the lines of "singing is neither an appropriate vocation nor avocation for you and if you disagree, I recommend you do a CAT scan to locate the tumor which is pressing on the cognitive processing center of your brain".

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Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Leonard?
Leonard: Yes?
Sheldon: (Sarcastic) When we played chess earlier, you were terrific, and I can't wait to play you again. Goodnight!

Quote from Leonard

(Sheldon repeatedly knocking and saying Leonard's name)
Leonard: Ugh, this would be so much easier if I were a violent sociopath!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: (Knocking on Penny's door early in the morning). Penny, Penny, Penny!(Penny opens the door).
Sheldon: Good morning.
Penny: Do you have any idea what time it is?
Sheldon: Of course I do. My watch is linked to the atomic clock in Boulder, Colorado. It's accurate to one-tenth of a second, but as I'm saying this it occurs to me once again your question may have been rhetorical.

Quote from Sheldon

Toby: Damn you, Chaplain Horrigan.
Penny: I'm sorry?
Toby: The Phillipines: 1992: The Subic Bay Naval Station: A young boy on the cusp of manhood. His only companions, mongrel dogs and malarial mosquitoes. Desperate and alone, he reached out to a man who promised to introduce him to a merciful, loving God. But instead introduced him to a gin-pickled tongue shoved down his adolescent throat. What choice did he have but to drink, shoot, and snort his pain away?
Sheldon: Don't forget genetic predisposition towards addiction.
Toby: That's never been proven.
Sheldon: There have been studies.
Toby: Not double-blind studies!
Sheldon: How could there be double-blind study? Who would be the control group?

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: How long is he going to stay here?
Sheldon: He's a homeless drug addict, Leonard. Where's he going to go? Boy, you have a lot to learn about lying.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: You'll never guess what just happened.
Leonard: Oh, I give up.
Sheldon: I don't guess. As a scientist, I reach conclusions based on observations and experimentation. Although it occurs to me, you may have been employing a rhetorical device rendering my response moot.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny singing "Out Tonight"
Leonard: What the hell is that?
Sheldon: I don't know, but if cats could sing ... they'd hate it too.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: If she were to log on to www.socalphysicsgroup.org/activities/other, click on upcoming events, scroll down to seminars, download the PDF schedule, and look for the seminar on molecular positroneum, well then, bippity boppity boo, our pants are metaphorically on fire.
*Leonard shuts the door.*
Sheldon: Well, sir, my trousers will not be igniting today.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You just lied to Penny.
Leonard: Yes, I did.
Sheldon: And you did it so casually. No rapid breathing, no increase in perspiration.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: So, lack of physiological response while lying is a characteristic of a violent sociopath.
Leonard: Sheldon, are you worried about your safety?
Sheldon: No. I imagine if you were going to kill me, you'd have done it a long time ago.

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