TV Quotes

Bernadette: Everyone's a better mom than me.
Raj: Oh, don't take it so personally, maybe your baby's just a jerk.

Sheldon: Amy and I are living together in sin, like a couple of New Yorkers. Now, while you scold us, I'm going to get a knife and a fork. Joe may be sloppy, but Sheldon's not.

Sheldon: Oh, good Lord! Is that mistletoe? Don't you maniacs own a calendar?

Sheldon: I knew we should've never mentioned us living together in the first place.
Amy: She was gonna find out eventually.
Sheldon: Disagree. We've known about evolution since 1859. She still believes in Noah and his amazing zoo boat.

Sheldon: It was fine, other than the weird-tasting juice Amy gave me. I slept the whole way.

Sheldon: Oh, you know. The Lone Star state. That should be its Yelp rating.

Penny: Do boys have flowers?
Leonard: Who knows what he has down there.

Penny: Oh, it's Bernadette. She says they're running late. "The baby threw up on Howard, and then Howard threw up on Howard."
Leonard: Well, he didn't throw up on the baby. That's a win.

Bernadette: How can she hate me? I make her food in my chest! It's like hating a frozen yogurt machine.

Sheldon: It says here that up to 80% of new mothers experience baby blues. And that the best thing to do is reassure them that they're doing a good job. Bernadette, you are doing a good job.
Bernadette: Thank you, Sheldon, I'm feeling better now.
Sheldon: Thank you, Internet. I'm telling you, with the right YouTube video, I can give Howard a vasectomy.

Sheldon: Well, this is highly insulting.
Amy: Sheldon, don't overreact.
Sheldon: I'm the child she was worried about? I have a brother and sister whose combined intellectual wattage couldn't power a potato clock ... if I spotted them the potato.

Leonard: See you guys at work.
Raj: Be there bright and early.
Howard: Not me, paternity leave.
Sheldon: Oh! A small human wreaks havoc on his wife's genitals and he gets time off.
Howard: With pay, sucka!