‘The Holiday Summation’ Quotes

1012. The Holiday Summation
Aired January 5, 2017
When the gang gets together for the first time in the New Year, they catch each other up on their holidays - including a fight over a Christmas tree, a trip to Texas, and their newborn's first few days at home.
Quote from Raj
Bernadette: Everyone's a better mom than me.
Raj: Oh, don't take it so personally, maybe your baby's just a jerk.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Amy and I are living together in sin, like a couple of New Yorkers. Now, while you scold us, I'm going to get a knife and a fork. Joe may be sloppy, but Sheldon's not.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Oh, good Lord! Is that mistletoe? Don't you maniacs own a calendar?
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: I knew we should've never mentioned us living together in the first place.
Amy: She was gonna find out eventually.
Sheldon: Disagree. We've known about evolution since 1859. She still believes in Noah and his amazing zoo boat.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: It was fine, other than the weird-tasting juice Amy gave me. I slept the whole way.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Oh, you know. The Lone Star state. That should be its Yelp rating.
Quote from Leonard
Penny: Do boys have flowers?
Leonard: Who knows what he has down there.
Quote from Leonard
Penny: Oh, it's Bernadette. She says they're running late. "The baby threw up on Howard, and then Howard threw up on Howard."
Leonard: Well, he didn't throw up on the baby. That's a win.
Quote from Bernadette
Bernadette: How can she hate me? I make her food in my chest! It's like hating a frozen yogurt machine.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: It says here that up to 80% of new mothers experience baby blues. And that the best thing to do is reassure them that they're doing a good job. Bernadette, you are doing a good job.
Bernadette: Thank you, Sheldon, I'm feeling better now.
Sheldon: Thank you, Internet. I'm telling you, with the right YouTube video, I can give Howard a vasectomy.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Well, this is highly insulting.
Amy: Sheldon, don't overreact.
Sheldon: I'm the child she was worried about? I have a brother and sister whose combined intellectual wattage couldn't power a potato clock ... if I spotted them the potato.
Quote from Howard
Leonard: See you guys at work.
Raj: Be there bright and early.
Howard: Not me, paternity leave.
Sheldon: Oh! A small human wreaks havoc on his wife's genitals and he gets time off.
Howard: With pay, sucka!