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‘The Excelsior Acquisition’ Quotes

The Big Bang Theory: The Excelsior Acquisition

316. The Excelsior Acquisition

Aired March 1, 2010

Sheldon and the guys are excited to learn comic book legend Stan Lee will be holding a signing session at the comic book store. However, Sheldon's happiness soon fades when he gets a summons to attend traffic court.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Good Morning your honor, Dr. Sheldon Cooper appearing in pro se - that is to say representing himself.
Judge: I know what it means, I went to law school.
Sheldon: Yet you wound up in traffic court.


Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: *After just being jailed, at the biggest guy in the cell who's sitting on a bench* That's my spot.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: *Knock Knock Knock* Penny. *Knock Knock Knock* Penny.
Penny: *Opening her door* ... Penny.
Sheldon: That's just wrong.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I would point out that I am at the top of my profession, while you preside over the kiddie table of yours.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: That's the toilet?
Policeman: Well, it ain't a wishin' well!
Sheldon: Please tell the judge I'm ready to apologize.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: While we live in a deterministic universe, you do have free will. Now sit down.

Quote from Howard

*Raj comes in playing Darth Vader's background music from Star Wars*
Leonard: Would you please turn your shirt off?
Raj: What? I'm giving myself dramatic entrance music. People will know I'm awesome and to be feared.
Wolowitz: Right. There's nothing more awesome and frightening than a man who's got music blasting from between his nipples.

Quote from Howard

Penny: Did he somehow just give me the finger?
Howard: Not just the finger, the moving finger!

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: I will give you the address if you go to my cousin's wedding with me.
Penny: You're extorting a date out of me?
Stuart: I kinda have to. The cousin who's getting married is the cousin I usually go to weddings with.

Quote from Raj

Howard: Ow. Damn, paper cut. Nothing worse than a paper cut.
Raj: Well, obviously you don't remember your circumcision.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Ill tell you where I've been. You boys may have had gelato with Stan Lee and gotten autographed comics, but I saw the inside of his house and got an autographed application for a restraining order.
Howard: Sweet.
Sheldon: Plus, I get to hang out with him again at the hearing. This is going to look great hanging next to my restraining order from Leonard Nimoy.

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