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29Quotes from ‘The Cooper Extraction’

The Big Bang Theory: The Cooper Extraction

711. The Cooper Extraction

Aired December 12, 2013

When Sheldon flies back to Texas, the gang gather to decorate the apartment Christmas tree, and they come to realize how big a part of their lives he is.

Quote from Penny

Raj: (To Amy) If you were having Sheldon's baby, would you really want him in the room?
Penny: Yeah, if he's in the room when they're making the baby, I'll give you $10.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: The second I go out of town, you throw a Christmas party without me?
Amy: Yeah, kinda.
Sheldon: That's so thoughtful. You guys are the best.

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: I've never done this before, it's kinda fun.
Raj: Yeah, if your mom could see her little Bar Mitzvah boy, she'd have a heart attack.
Bernadette: Good idea. I'll take a picture.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Did you hold the baby?
Sheldon: I did.
Amy: And how did it make you feel?
Sheldon: Looking into the blank, innocent eyes of a creature that couldn't begin to comprehend anything I was saying ... basically another day at the office.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: You know, many people believe home births are better because the mother's in a warm, comfortable environment where she can be nurtured by loved ones.
Sheldon: And turn the bedroom floor into an amniotic slip 'n slide.

Quote from Stuart

Amy: (Talking "It's A Wonderful Life"). It's great. It's Christmas time, and Jimmy Stewart's really depressed and he's gonna jump off a bridge and kill himself.
Stuart: Don't need to see it, living it!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: This is no way to make new humans. People coming out of people. Like some dirty magic show.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: She chose to have a home birth. Because she wants to live in the stone age, and a cave wasn't available.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Do you ever imagine what that would be would be like, not being born?
Leonard: *Sheldon's knock* What do you think? *Sheldon's knock* What do you think? *Sheldon's knock* What do you think?

Quote from Penny

Amy: You wouldn't be dating Penny.
Leonard: You don't know that. I've been going to the Cheesecake Factory for years. I could have picked her up.
*Everybody laughs*
Penny: Oh, you weren't joking?

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Uhh, umm. I'm Leonard.
Penny: Really? You don't sound so sure.
Leonard: No, I am me.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I've seen things. Lady things.
Amy: Listen to me. That is not the way they usually look!

Quote from Raj

Leonard: Hey, Sheldon sent us all an email. "Happy Holidays from Texas", and there's pictures. *Looks at his phone* Aww, do not open them. Do not open them!
Penny: Oh come on, childbirth is a natural, beautiful - Urgh, it's like someone sawed a cow in half.
Raj: My father is a gynaecologist, I think I can handle it. *Looks at his phone* And ... now I'm gay.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: I missed you.
Sheldon: To quote Han Solo, "I know."
Amy: Did you miss me?
Sheldon: I would have preferred to have you there with me.
Amy: Aww.
Sheldon: Or instead of me.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: All right, here's the deal. Sheldon is gone so the tree decorating rules are out the window.
Penny: Which means we don't have to use his ridiculous ornament spacing template.
Leonard: And I'm happy to report its Kickstarter campaign is holding steady at $0.

Quote from Raj

Howard: I lived with her to save money.
Raj: Yeah, you didn't need to buy groceries because you were breast feeding.

Quote from Raj

Bernadette: So how come you two (Leonard & Raj) didn't move in together?
Leonard: This guy wanted a place of his own because he was sure he was going to be a ladies' man.
Raj: Yeah, I was wrong.

Quote from Leonard

Raj: At least Leonard, Howard and I would have always been friends.
Bernadette: Hey, how come you three never got an apartment together?
Leonard: We talked about it, but Howard was in a pretty serious relationship ... with his mom.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: He made you his screensaver.
Amy: Oh, wow. I had no idea. He is so into me!

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Aww, that's great. You're going to be an uncle. Uncle Sheldon.
Sheldon: No, I will be Uncle Dr. Cooper.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Hey, you guys ready to order or do you need a few minutes?
Leonard: *mumbles*
Penny: Few minutes it is.

Quote from Howard

Amy: You make jokes about Sheldon but if it weren't for him, I don't think any of us would be sitting in in this room right now.
Howard: Really? Sheldon not being here is the main reason I'm in this room.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I never told you about my brother's kidney stones. Do you want hear about everything that comes out of my family's genitals?

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: Hello. Oh good, I'm glad you guys didn't wait for me to start. Although you said seven and it's seven. It's fine!

Quote from Sheldon

Mary Cooper: Sheldon Lee Cooper, you get back in this room right now. And bring a mop!
Sheldon: Did you hear that? A mop! I've got two PHDs yet somehow I'm the janitor of my sister's birth canal.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, she's due to tomorrow. But it did take her six years to finish high school, so who knows.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: I'm just really glad you're back.
Sheldon: Me too. I've got a lot of TV to catch up on.

Quote from Leonard

Raj: So Star Trek and Star Wars characters can go on the same branch?
Leonard: I know, it's crazy. Welcome to the Thunderdome, people!

Quote from Penny

Penny: Doing laundry?
Sheldon: Of course I'm doing laundry. Saturday night is laundry night and I'm in a laundry room, so I believe your inference is justified.
Penny: Oh, "My inference is justified", Sheldon you are so funny!


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