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‘The Convention Conundrum’ Quotes

The Big Bang Theory: The Convention Conundrum

714. The Convention Conundrum

Aired January 30, 2014

When the guys miss out on Comic-Con tickets, Sheldon plans to hold his own convention, leading to a memorable night with James Earl Jones. Meanwhile, the girls try to act like "grown-ups".

Quote from Amy

Amy: Why can't they do something sensible like Sheldon, and start their own comic book convention? Also, who wants to throw me out that window?

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Quote from Sheldon

James Earl Jones: What were you trying to ask me at the strip club?
Sheldon: How much does it cost to get them off my lap?

Quote from Penny

Bernadette: Well, while they're acting like teenagers we could do something grown up.
Amy: Ooh, you mean like a museum?
Penny: Yes, like a museum but anything else!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: My friend Leonard said if I bothered you while you were eating, you'd think I was a creepy stalker.
James Earl Jones: Well, your friend Leonard sounds like a real weeny.
Sheldon: He is, Mr. Earl Jones. He is!

Quote from Bernadette

Penny: Let me ask you a question. When did you guys start feeling grown up? Because I'm not sure I do.
Bernadette: Honestly, I thought when I got married I would, but I still feel like I'm pretending. It doesn't help that most of my clothes come from Gap Kids.

Quote from Leonard

Howard: I already found a guy online who is willing to sell.
Sheldon: How do you know this isn't a sting operation set up by the Comic-Con police?
Leonard: The same way I know the people in the TV set can't see me.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: Those tickets were pretty expensive. I had to give Howie an advance on his allowance. Now he's never going to put his toys away.

Quote from Amy

Amy: On the bright side, every six year old there was jealous of my tiara. Not gonna lie, it felt good.

Quote from Leonard

Raj: Since Sheldon isn't coming to Comic Con with us, why don't we dress up as some sort of trio?
Leonard: Or we could just be the Fantastic Four and tell everyone that the Invisible Girl is standing right next to us.

Quote from Bernadette

Amy: There sure are a lot of little kids here.
Penny: I can't believe we thought this would make us feel grown up.
Bernadette: I can't believe the waiter thought I was your daughter.

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: I can't believe we wasted all that time on our Hulk costumes.
Penny: You were all going as the Hulk?
Howard: Not the same Hulk. Ferrigno, Bana, Norton and Ruffalo.

Quote from Penny

Penny: I'm serious. Who wants to do all that stuff? Have insurance, pay mortgages, leave one of those little notes when you hit a parked car.
Amy: I told you it was Penny.
Penny: Oh come on. It wasn't me. Anybody could have knocked your mirror off. Or whatever happened.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Hey, Los Angeles. I'm on a ferris wheel with Darth Vader and he's nicer than you think.
James Earl Jones: I am!

Quote from Bernadette

Penny: I mean really, what's so great about being grown up?
Bernadette: Well for starters, we'd be splitting this check three ways.

Quote from Sheldon

James Earl Jones: Ah, Sheldon. This is the perfect end to a perfect night.
Sheldon: Okay. But I think it could have ended at the karaoke.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I told you, buying scalped tickets is against the rules. If you get caught you get banned for life. Life, Leonard. You're going to feel pretty silly when we're eighty years old and you have to drive me down there and sit in the car for three days.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Look, even your friend Wil Wheaton thinks this is a waste of time.
Sheldon: Not true. Wil thinks this is a great idea. He was just concerned he wasn't a big enough celebrity to headline such an event. Also it's the same day he shampoos his beard.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Wait, I need you to call Stan Lee, Leonard Nimoy and Bill Nye the Science Guy. Because legally I'm not allowed to. And also Carrie Fisher, because I hear she's a little nuts.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Gentlemen, I am one step away from securing a huge guest for my convention.
Leonard: Does that step include chloroform and a roll of duct tape?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I don't think that will be necessary for Mr. James Earl Jones. You heard me. The voice of Darth Vader, The Lion King's dad and, FYI, the guy who says "This is CNN" - who also sounds like Darth Vader.

Quote from Howard

Raj: How are you going to get James Earl Jones?
Sheldon: Simple. Earlier today he tweeted that he's looking forward to going to his favorite Sushi restaurant for dinner. I googled an interview from four years ago, which was conducted in his favorite Sushi restaurant and that's where he'll be. And that's where I'm going. And that's -
Howard: And that's where Darth Vader is going to pour soy sauce on your head.

Quote from Penny

Penny: This is really sad, and in a different way than it was twenty minutes ago.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: T-60 seconds.
Raj: Oh, it all comes down it this.
Leonard: I've got butterflies!
Sheldon: Don't get soft on me, Hofstadter. I will slap those glasses right off your face.

Quote from Penny

Penny: That's a whole lot of weird before cofee.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Aw, I have to go to the bathroom so bad.
Sheldon: Every year, I told you wear a diaper.
Raj: I told you I get diaper rash!

Quote from Penny

Amy: I think I have you both beat. Imagine trying to be a grown up when you've never even been with a man.
Penny: Sex is not what makes you a grown up.
Bernadette: Yeah, or you'd be the oldest one here.
Penny: Really? Is that how you talk to your mother?


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