TV Quotes

Amy: You're up early.
Sheldon: Huh? Yes. I wanted to get a jump on planning a day of fun for you.
Amy: Oh, that's sweet. What are we doing?
Sheldon: Oh, no. Just you. I have other plans. Now, would you prefer to see The Grinch in 2-D or 3-D?
Amy: I don't want to see it at all.
Sheldon: Well, let's go 2-D. No sense in spending extra money.

Howard: Hey, have you checked the dates on these? They're all expired.
Stuart: You buy candy in a comic book store, you get what you get.

Sheldon: So the doctor prescribed Nizoral and it blocked enzyme action, and the fungus cleared right up.
Mrs. Fowler: That's a very disturbing picture.
Sheldon: Yes, well, they say a picture's worth a thousand words, but I say nothing beats a picture and a thousand words.
Mrs. Fowler: Still, you might want to take it off Facebook.
Sheldon: Oh, no. It's in my nature to share.

Amy: My mom thinks that Sheldon is the reason I don't spend a lot of time with her.
Penny: Well, why would she think that?
Amy: Because I told her. You need a cup of coffee? Wake up!

Sheldon: And then you ask me 20 questions to try to determine which Nobel Prize-winning physicist I am. Ready? Go.
Mrs. Fowler: Can I give up?
Sheldon: No. 19 questions left. (ringtone playing)
Mrs. Fowler: Are you gonna get that?
Sheldon: Oh, no. We're in the middle of a game. 18 questions left.
Mrs. Fowler: Answer the phone, Sheldon.

Sheldon: [on the phone] Hello, Amy.
Amy: Hey, how's it going?
Sheldon: Well, Howard lured your dad away with magic, so now I'm bonding with your mom. [Mrs. Fowler stares at Sheldon] I think she likes me.

Mrs. Fowler: I'd like you a lot better if you weren't keeping my daughter away from me.
Sheldon: Uh, wh-- Hang on, Amy. What's the problem, Green Beans?
Mrs. Fowler: Amy said she couldn't come to Thanksgiving dinner because you always have to spend it with your mother.
Sheldon: I haven't spent Thanksgiving with my mother in years. Amy, why would you tell your mother that I spend Thanksgiving with my mother?
Amy: Uh, no time to talk about that now. All your action figures are on fire. Harrison Ford's in the lobby. Come quick.

Mrs. Fowler: And Amy never joins us for Sunday dinners because you refuse to go out on a school night.
Sheldon: I can go out on a school night as long as I'm in my PJs by 10:00.

Mrs. Fowler: I can't believe it. All this time I've been angry at you when I should have been angry at Amy.
Sheldon: Look at that. We're both angry at Amy. Maybe that's something we could bond over. Let me ask you this: how do you feel about Howard?
Mrs. Fowler: Oh, is he that odd little friend you have with the haircut?
Sheldon: I may have married the wrong Fowler.

Mrs. Fowler: I don't know about you, but I don't really like magic.
Sheldon: You just keep getting better and better.

Sheldon: Can I feed peanuts to the elephants at your wedding?
Raj: That is such a stereotype!
Sheldon: There won't be any elephants?
Raj: Of course there'll be elephants. It's a stereotype that you feed them peanuts.

Amy: Are you really gonna plan a wedding in three months?
Raj: Yeah, well, her family's doing most of the work. They're amazing. We talk all the time.
Sheldon: Why?
Raj: Because we're about to get married and they're gonna be my family.
Sheldon: Amy and I are married, and I never talk to her family.
Penny: Really? My parents love Leonard.
Leonard: Yeah. And my mom loves Penny, which is weird, because I never knew she could love.

Bernadette: And my dad has grown to really like Howard.
Howard: Yeah, there's a nice coolness between us.

Penny: It's fine, I'll sit on the floor.
Raj: Thank you, Penny. And, Leonard, I was kind of hoping I could sit next to Anu.
Leonard: So now I have to sit on the floor? It's my house. Why can't Sheldon sit on the floor?
Sheldon: That might be the dumbest thing you've ever said.

Howard: Guys, guys, there's a simple solution.
Raj: I am not breaking up with her.
Howard: All right. Let's keep thinking.

Sheldon: After last night, I got to thinking that I should have a better relationship with your family.
Amy: I think the one you have with them is perfect.
Sheldon: I hardly have one at all.
Amy: Which is perfect.

Sheldon: Oh, Amy, they're important to you, and you're important to me. Therefore, according to the transitive property, they're important to me. It's the same reason I'm interested in your big, flat feet.

Amy: Well, you know that my mom can be well, difficult to get along with.
Sheldon: Which is why I'm starting with your dad and working my way up.
Amy: All right. I'm just worried you might have a rather unpleasant day.
Sheldon: Yeah, back at ya. I watched the trailer for The Grinch, it looks terrible.

Mr. Fowler: Hi, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Oh, good. You're right on time.
Amy: Hi, Daddy.
Mr. Fowler: Hey, pumpkin.
Sheldon: Pumpkin? I've been calling her spaghetti squash. It's amazing that one woman can be different vegetables to different men.

Leonard: How you feeling about it?
Raj: Uh, to be honest, I'm pretty anxious. I mean, this is the woman I'm marrying. What if it's no good? Do we break up? Do we sign on for a lifetime of mediocre sex?
Leonard: Just don't put so much pressure on it. It's always a little awkward in the beginning. I remember the first time I slept with Penny.
Raj: It was bad?
Leonard: Oh, it was awesome! I will replay it in my head until the day I die.