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17Quotes from ‘The Conjugal Configuration’

The Big Bang Theory: The Conjugal Configuration

1201. The Conjugal Configuration

Aired September 24, 2018

Sheldon and Amy's honeymoon runs aground in New York, while Penny and Leonard discover they are uncomfortably similar to Amy's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Fowler. Also, Koothrappali insults physicist Neil deGrasse Tyson and starts a Twitter war.

Quote from Howard

Raj: Sounds like someone's in there.
Bernadette: My God, what if Sheldon and Amy are getting robbed?
Howard: Or worse, what if they're back early?

Quote from Penny

Penny: You know, you compared us to the strangest couple we know, and we know Amy and Sheldon, Howard and Bernadette, Raj and his twitchy little dog.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: How's this for a compromise? Make all the schedules you want, just don't tell me about them.
Sheldon: Excellent. I'll create an algorithm that'll generate a pseudo-random schedule.
Yeah, and do you know why it won't be a true random schedule?
Amy: Because the generation of true random numbers remains an unsolved problem in computer science.
Sheldon: Come with me.
Amy: Where are we going?
Sheldon: To the hotel room. And when we get there, I'm gonna need you to say that again, except naked.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Good morning, wife.
Amy: Good morning, husband. I can't believe we're actually married.
Sheldon: It's official. According to tradition, we should hang the bedsheets outside so the villagers can see that we consummated.
Amy: I don't think that that's appropriate, considering where we're starting our honeymoon.
Sheldon: Well, I suppose you're right. Although, when you think about it, Lego is the perfect metaphor for marital congress. Two pieces that interlock with a satisfying snap.
Amy: Oh, that's the sound you were making.

Quote from Leonard

Raj: Now it's happening to me. Ooh, I should probably make a list of all the scientific inaccuracies in Mamma Mia 2.
Penny: You're gonna go on live TV and admit you've seen that movie?
Raj: Hey, your husband's the one who took me.
Leonard: Meryl Streep and Cher? Yeah, I saw it.

Quote from Leonard

Howard: That was weird, right?
Leonard: Was it? I honestly can't tell anymore.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Really, Sheldon? You want to do it again?
Sheldon: Don't act surprised. It's clearly marked on the schedule. Now, shall we steam the wrinkles out of our wizard robes, or make vigorous, socially sanctioned love? Either way, I can check something off my to-do list.
Amy: [reading Sheldon's to-do list on his phone] Socially sanc-- Oh, wow. Yeah, there it is right there.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Uh, hurry. Raj is on next.
Penny: All right. I can't believe they canceled Vampire Diaries but they'll show this.
Leonard: This is the news.
Penny: And that was a woman torn between two hunky vampires. What is your point?

Quote from Leonard

Mrs. Fowler: Larry? I know you're in there!
Penny: Is that Amy's mom?
Mrs. Fowler: Let me in. (shouting) Let me in!
Leonard: Either that or the Big Bad Wolf.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: You know, I'm a little jet-laggy. Maybe we can revisit this in the morning.
Sheldon: Oh, no can do. If we miss tonight, it's not scheduled until Thursday at 6:00. And that'll have to be "no frills," 'cause we've got a 6:30 reservation at Benihana.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Really? Would it be so bad to mix it up a little?
Sheldon: Mix it up? Who are you, Betty Crocker?

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Poor Mr. Fowler, I really feel sorry for the little guy.
Penny: I know. After they had Amy, she should've just eaten him and been done with it.
Leonard: Look at you retaining facts from a nature show.

Quote from Sheldon

Tour Guide: And here we have the former hotel where Tesla perfected the three-phase alternating current motor.
Sheldon: That's wrong. I'm gonna say something.
Amy: Don't.
Sheldon: Well, then how will everyone know I'm the smartest boy here?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I brought you two hot dogs.
Amy: Aren't you gonna eat one?
Sheldon: From a street cart? Are you crazy? I'm amazed that I'm holding them.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You realize that I'm not a particularly physical person.
Amy: I know.
Sheldon: When I was little, and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I'd always say, "A brain in a jar."
Amy: Sure.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'm just worried that if I don't schedule our bedroom endeavors, then I may not think about them, and you'll grow cold and distant and seek solace in the arms of a heavily-muscled longshoreman.
Amy: Where would I find a longshoreman?
Sheldon: Along the shore. It's in the name.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Sheldon, I could never be with anybody but you.
Sheldon: That's good to know. I wouldn't want to fight a man who's brave enough to touch a fish.


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