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33Quotes from ‘The Confidence Erosion’

The Big Bang Theory: The Confidence Erosion

1110. The Confidence Erosion

Aired December 7, 2017

Sheldon and Amy take the stress out of wedding planning with the application of decision theory. Meanwhile, Koothrappli ends his friendship with Howard when he realizes that his best friend's put downs are harming his confidence.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Sorry, but when you make a discovery like this, you don't just take it down to City Hall. You tell the whole world. And so I'll say it in Latin or Klingon or smoke signals, if that's not cultural appropriation.
Amy: It is.
Sheldon: Okay, so not smoke signals.

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: Neither of them will be the actual cake. I'm just using it as a bargaining chip to get Amy to agree to the whole wedding party getting rings and us getting one ring to rule them all.
Howard: I forget, which mental hospital are you guys registered at?

Quote from Howard

Howard: Look, I I can see you're upset, but I'm gonna need some ground rules. I mean, while we're apart, can I see other needy Indian men?

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Maybe we should just get married at City Hall and forget about everything else.
Sheldon: City Hall, hmm. I do like metal detectors and the sound of permits being denied.

Quote from Penny

Bernadette: You're gonna make me forget I've been stuck in bed while a baby uses my bladder as a kickball?
Penny: Hey, you had unprotected sex with Howard. You deserve to be miserable.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Howard doesn't mean anything by it. I think it's cultural. His people come from a very sarcastic village called Brooklyn.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I mean, it's not that I think we're living in sin, but I do like the idea that our next act of intimacy will be a legal requirement.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: All right, Amy, you're up. Next decision.
Amy: Come on, first dance! Come on, first dance!
Sheldon: (runs computer randomizer) Invitations! Oh! That's a good one. Just a suggestion, hologram projected out of R2-D2.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Your turn.
Sheldon: (runs randomizer) Ring bearer! Oh boy, I'm so glad that R2-D2 is still available.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: Okay, let's see what we've got so far.
Amy: I arrive in a Little House on the Prairie style horse-drawn buggy.
Sheldon: Where you are met with an honor guard of stormtroopers.
Amy: Do you think that might be jarring, going from wholesome pioneers to space Nazis?
Sheldon: I see what you're saying. You're thinking that you should arrive in a replica of Luke Skywalker's landspeeder.
Amy: It's not what I'm thinking, and to save you the trouble for the future, it will never be what I'm thinking.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Well, if we're changing things, then instead of throwing confetti, we'll release butterflies.
Sheldon: Airborne worms?! Have you lost your mind?! Well, if you're going to do that, then I am changing the officiant to that husky Spider-Man that hangs out at the Chinese Theater.
Amy: Fine. Wedding toasts in Latin.
Sheldon: Great. Vows in Klingon.
Amy: Then I'm changing the flower girl to a dog. And guess what he'll be scattering instead of petals!

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: What do you think will make the wedding worse for Amy, a cake made with salt instead of sugar or a cake iced with congealed gravy?
Leonard: That is a trick question. The answer is: you as the groom.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Neither of them will be the actual cake. I'm just using it as a bargaining chip to get Amy to agree to the whole wedding party getting rings and us getting one ring to rule them all.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Hey, what's going on with your hair?
Raj: Uh, nothing. I just decided to stop straightening it.
Penny: Wait, so you were making your hair look like that on purpose?
Raj: When I first moved to America, I wanted to fit in. And Howard's hair was straight, and he was the coolest person I knew.
Penny: Then you never saw any other people?

Quote from Stuart

Howard: I had a falling out with Raj. He said I make fun of him too much and it's wrecked his confidence.
Stuart: Please, confidence is like red blood cells: it's nice if you got some, but you don't need 'em.

Quote from Amy

Clerk: Here's your license. Now, if you wait over there, we'll call you when the officiant's ready.
Sheldon: Do we need a blood test?
Clerk: No.
Sheldon: Well, then, how will you know whether or not we have syphilis?
Clerk: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you don't have that.
Amy: Okay, Sheldon, you officially exceeded the number of times I hoped to hear the word "syphilis" on my wedding day.

Quote from Amy

Amy: I can't believe we're doing this.
Sheldon: I know. I'm getting married. The new Star Wars movie's coming out. We are really finishing this year strong.
Amy: Okay, but of the two of tho- You know, I'm not even gonna ask. I'm not gonna ask.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Can you believe it? We're about to walk in that door, Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler, and walk out as a married couple, Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I want a real wedding.
Amy: Well, Sheldon, it was just making us fight.
Sheldon: I know. But, Amy, I never thought I'd want to marry anyone. So the fact that I found you is astonishing. It's-it's like finding dark matter, except they're looking for dark matter. I wasn't even looking for you. S-So you're even better than dark matter.
Amy: (chuckles) Sheldon.
Sheldon: Plus, plus, you interact with light, so I can see you. And, also, you don't account for the missing mass in the universe. Oh, and-
Amy: Okay, I think you're getting caught up on the ways I'm not like dark matter.
Sheldon: Right. Sorry.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: You know, we did get dressed up and come all the way to City Hall.
Amy: What are you thinking?
Sheldon: I have always wanted a permit to dispose of hazardous waste.
Amy: Let's do it.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Should we go congratulate him?
Sheldon: I'll do better than that, I'll give him constructive criticism.
Amy: Here's some constructive criticism: don't.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: You and Amy having fun planning your wedding?
Sheldon: We're employing a mathematical approach called decision theory, so, heck, yeah.
Leonard: Heck, yeah? Looks like someone need to put a dollar in the almost-swear jar.

Quote from Raj

Raj: They asked me what my biggest weakness was, and 45 minutes later, they thanked me for coming.

Quote from Bernadette

Amy: I think you'd be great at that. Don't you agree, Bernadette?
Bernadette: Huh? I'm listening. I'm listening. I'm not watching The Crown.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: We've assigned all wedding decisions randomly, and each of us makes half of them. You know, from venue to officiant to numbering system for the tables: Roman or Dewey Decimal.
Leonard: Why not hexadecimal?
Sheldon: 'Cause this is our wedding, not a joke.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Wait. The premise is that he is dressed differently?
Howard: Yeah.
Sheldon: (laughing) That's true. He is not dressed the same.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: You know, this is really fun. I can't believe that people say that planning a wedding is one of the most stressful things in life.
Sheldon: I know. Not a day goes by that I don't marvel how much better we are than other people.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Have you ever thought about talking to some kind of therapist about all this?
Raj: Ugh. Maybe. Hey, Leonard, do you think your mom would be available?
Leonard: Yeah, you don't want to do that. Talking to my mom to get more confidence is like talking to a lion to get more alive.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well if the ushers are so important to you, what if I propose a trade? You may pick that, and I will decide, say, first dance.
Amy: Great. Then the ushers will be my cousins dressed in frontier frock coats.
Sheldon: Oh. And the first dance will be that we won't have one.
Amy: All right. Then our second dance will be the first dance.
Sheldon: Unless we have no dance at all.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: And if we're not enjoying planning this wedding, then what's the point?
Sheldon: Well, historically, a wedding was to let other potential suitors know that we're unavailable. But I think matching T-shirts that say "Hands off the merchandise" accomplish the same thing.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Tomorrow we'll go downtown and get married.
Sheldon: Or we could go to Beverly Hills City Hall if you want a destination wedding.

Quote from Stuart

Stuart: Hey, Howard.
Howard: Hey.
Stuart: Where is everybody?
Howard: I could ask you the same question.
Stuart: Wow, this conversation got mean fast.

Quote from Stuart

Howard: I mean, your life's a mess. I don't see you blaming other people for it.
Stuart: That's right. I grew up in a loving, supportive household. This is all on me.


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