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‘The Colonization Application’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

The Big Bang Theory: The Colonization Application

817. The Colonization Application

Aired March 5, 2015

As Sheldon and Amy choose to buy a pet turtle, Amy is angered to learn that Sheldon has applied for a one-way mission to colonize Mars. Meanwhile, Leonard and Penny take a step forward in the bedroom when Leonard makes an adult purchase, while Raj worries about Emily's reaction when she finds out he's been snooping in her apartment.

Quote from Howard

Howard: How are the taxes going?
Bernadette: Okay, but you've got a lot of receipts for the Lego store in here.
Howard: Those are business expenses. You can write those off.
Bernadette: A $200 R2-D2 is a business expense?
Howard: Oh, Bernie, you're gonna have to sound a lot more confident when we get audited.

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Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'm exceedingly smart. I graduated college at fourteen. While my brother was getting an STD, I was getting a Ph.D. Penicillin can't take this away.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: This is why I've been saying we should keep champagne on ice.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: That was tricky because when it comes to alcohol, she generally means business.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Come on, we are not old, boring people. We can do better than this.
Leonard: That's true. How late did we stay up last night?
Penny: Almost 1 am.
Leonard: Damn straight almost 1 am. And we weren't even watching TV, we were watching Netflix like the kids do.
Penny: Yeah. Is it a comedy, is it a drama? Nobody knows!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Do you want to say it?
Amy: Let's say it together.
Sheldon and Amy: We're getting a turtle!

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Acquiring a joint pet is a big step for us.
Sheldon: It's true. It means we care so much about each other, there's enough left over for an eight-ounce reptile.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: We cover ourselves in body paint and then we get on this big canvas and do our thing.
Penny: Woah, that's kind of a big step for a guy who only recently agreed to take his socks off.

Quote from Howard

Howard: I think you broke the dowels. You're not gonna have time to glue it back on. You'll have to nail it.
Raj: With what?
Howard: Does she have any pillows or wine glasses?
Raj: She does.
Howard: Great. Neither of those. Try a hammer!
Raj: Did that feel good? You feel like a big man now?

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Why a turtle?
Sheldon: After much deliberation, we've determined that a turtle is the ideal pet. They don't shed fur. They don't make noise.
Amy: For Halloween, we can dress him as a cobble stone.
Sheldon: And, if he ever goes beserk, I know I can out run him. Coincidentally that's also why I chose you as a roommate.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Let's pick ourselves out a nice turtle. Ooh, how about this one up on the log?
Sheldon: Hmm, I don't know. He kinda looks like a jerk.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: How about this one?
Amy: He's barely moving. He looks half dead.
Sheldon: I know. I like him too.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: What should we name him? I came in thinking Seth, but he kinda looks Italian.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: What's happening?
Howard: Raj was snooping through Emily's drawers and broke one.
Bernadette: Oh, I'm gonna miss her.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: So you're saying you wouldn't leave me for the chance to be one of the first humans to colonize another planet?
Amy: I would at least mention it before filling out the application.
Sheldon: Hmm. That's exactly what Leonard, Wolowitz, Koothrappali, Bernadette and Penny said.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: And who says you could even survive an inter-planetary mission anyway? You could barely survive a tiny turtle bite.
Sheldon: First of all, this has only made me stronger.

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