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23Quotes from ‘The Citation Negation’

The Big Bang Theory: The Citation Negation

1209. The Citation Negation

Aired November 15, 2018

Sheldon and Amy are devastated after learning from a Russian paper that Super Asymmetry has already been discovered and disproven. Also, ultra-competitive Bernadette asks Stuart's girlfriend, Denise, to teach her how to beat Howard in a popular videogame.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: I suppose you're wondering why I put you through all this.
Leonard: You mean the last two minutes or the last 20 years?

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: You know we're almost finished with our paper; we just need help tracking down the citations.
Leonard: That's busywork. Can't you just get a grad student to do it?
Amy: No, this paper is incredibly important to us, and we need someone we can trust.
Please, it would mean a lot.
Leonard: You know what? Sure. The three of us in the library looking up old papers, that actually could be kind of fun.
Sheldon: Oh, no, we won't be there.
Leonard: It just got more fun.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh, hey, Leonard. Is the podcast too loud
Leonard: I didn't hear a podcast.
Amy: I told you no one could hear it.
Sheldon: Well, I heard Ira Glass, so he's either in your earbuds or clinging to the ceiling like a gecko.

Quote from Penny

Penny: So neither of them showed up for work today?
Leonard: No, I tried calling and no one picked up.
Penny: Look, I'm sure they're fine. They were probably up all night coming up with a new theory.
Leonard: I also texted to see if he wanted to go to the new Fantastic Beasts movie and he didn't respond.
Penny: All right, well, they're already dead. There's nothing we can do.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Sheldon, do you want to put the tables after each section or in an appendix at the end?
Sheldon: You know what? We wrote this paper together. I think we should decide together that they go in an appendix at the end.
Amy: How about that? There is an "I" in "team.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Look at what we made.
Sheldon: I know. It really is the best of both of us. It's got my math and your sassy takedown of the fundamental nature of symmetry. It's got my bottomless intellectual curiosity and your petulant refusal to spell "grey" with an "a" like an American.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: The point is, we can't afford to have this paper leaked before we're ready to publish. That's how you kiss the Nobel Prize good-bye instead of hello as I intend to do.
Amy: I assume you mean metaphorically.
Sheldon: Absolutely not. If the King of Sweden hands me a medal, I intend to smear it with Purell and then kiss it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Leonard, I need to tell you something. I'm having an affair.
Leonard: Okay.
Sheldon: You have to swear not to tell anybody.
Leonard: Okay.
Sheldon: You are the only one who knows. Uh, well, you and Rita, the cafeteria lady who has been giving me more than Tater Tots.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: What did he want?
Leonard: Oh, nothing. He just concocted some stupid test to see if I can keep a secret.
Penny: Ooh, what's the secret?
Leonard: I'm not gonna tell you that. The test is stupid, but I still want to pass.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Well, I am shocked, Sheldon, because I totally believed that the woman you reported for being stingy with the peas couldn't keep her hands off you.

Quote from Leonard

Amy: Well, I am a little hurt that you weren't gonna tell me my husband was having an affair. I thought we were friends.
Leonard: I didn't really believe him.
Amy: Why not? You don't think other women find him attractive?
Leonard: (laughing) No.

Quote from Raj

Bernadette: What you playing?
Howard: Fortnite. A bunch of people parachute onto an island and fight it out to be the last man standing.
Bernadette: Like Hunger Games?
Raj: More like Bachelor in Paradise, but not as cutthroat.

Quote from Howard

Howard: This one's how you move, this is how you shoot. "A" jumps, "B" puts you into build mode.
Raj: And depending on what you want to build, you can use LB, RB, LT, or RT.
Bernadette: Just put me in, I'll figure it out.
Howard: Oh, sounds like me on our honeymoon.
Raj: Okay, you're skydiving down. You're almost to the ground. Now, when you land, you're gonna want- (gunfire) Okay, you're dead.
Bernadette: Wait, that's it? That wasn't fun at all.
Howard: Oh, now it sounds like you on our honeymoon.

Quote from Bernadette

Penny: Hey, ready for lunch?
Bernadette: Hang on.
Penny: Really, video games? Is this some sort of Freaky Friday thing where you're actually Howard?
Bernadette: Please, if I were Howard, I'd be doing this. [looks down at her breasts] You know what? He's not wrong.

Quote from Bernadette

Penny: All right, great, can we go?
Bernadette: In a minute. I want to show Howard I can play this game.
Penny: You know, you make a lot more money than he does. Can't you just rub his nose in that?
Bernadette: I can, but I want to rub his nose in this.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Okay, this citation is correct. How you doing?
Leonard: Pretty good. I'm just looking through "The Effect of High Energy Muons on Proton Pion Scattering at the National Accelerator-" (inhales) "-Laboratory."
Raj: Hey, should we take a break?
Leonard: No, this actually makes it more exciting. We have to get through all of this before I run out of this.
Raj: It's like the movie Speed, but instead of a bus, it's your lungs. And instead of Sandra Bullock, it has sadness.

Quote from Raj

Leonard: Why did you pull this Russian paper?
Raj: Oh, it was cited in this paper over here, so I thought we should check it out.
Leonard: Mm, it's not translated. Maybe we should talk to Howard; his Russian's pretty good.
Raj: We don't need Howard. I've got Google Translate. Okay, here we go, from Russian to English. "Examinations of moose chowder in lemon parachutes." Yeah, okay, now I know why this app is free.

Quote from Raj

Howard: Oh, gosh, my Russian's a little rusty.
Raj: If it helps, this word may be "moose."

Quote from Howard

Howard: This paper is called "Examinations of a Super-Asymmetric Model of the Universe" by Dr. Vasily Gregora-poli-popivich.
Leonard: W-Wait, so Amy and Sheldon weren't the first to think of super-asymmetry?
Howard: No, doesn't look like it. This is from 1978.
Leonard: Okay, well, they might need to rename their theory "The Cooper-Fowler Gregora-poli-popivich Theory."
Howard: Kind of rolls right off your tongue, doesn't it?

Quote from Howard

Leonard: Sheldon is not gonna be happy about this.
Howard: Well, he's gonna be less happy about this: "The super-asymmetric model is inherently flawed and does not bear the weight of further examination."
Leonard: Hmm. So this disproves their theory?
Howard: Sounds like it.
Leonard: Oh, how are we gonna tell him?
Howard: That's easy. Just go up to him and say, "Sheldon, Raj has something to tell you."

Quote from Penny

Penny: Is everything okay?
Leonard: No, I found a paper that proves their theory wrong. They thought this was gonna be their Nobel Prize. It's gonna break his heart.
Penny: Oh, man. Maybe leave an anonymous note, you know, like in high school, when you want to let your best friend know that her boyfriend's cheating on her.
Leonard: Why wouldn't you just tell her that?
Penny: I don't know. Maybe you had a hickey.
Leonard: Isn't it better to get bad news from a friend?
Penny: Trust me, it's not. I went to prom with a hickey and a black eye.

Quote from Amy

Amy: Can I do anything?
Sheldon: No.
Amy: I can make you some tea, I could sing "Soft Kitty"-
Sheldon: I don't understand how you're not more upset by this. This is your paper, too.
Amy: I am upset, Sheldon. I'm just trying to hold it together for you. Like when that goose wouldn't leave us alone at brunch.
Sheldon: That thing scared you, too?
Amy: Well, of course it did. I was wearing a down jacket.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Is there anything we can do?
Sheldon: No. Yeah-- wait. Do I smell Siam Palace?
Leonard: Oh, yeah, it's our dinner. I mean, it's your dinner.
Sheldon: Any mango sticky rice?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: And the blows keep coming.


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