TV Quotes

Sheldon: Oh gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.

Howard: Grab a napkin, homey, you just got served.
Leonard: That's fine, you win.
Howard: What's his problem?
Sheldon: His imaginary girlfriend broke up with him.
Howard: Been there!

Penny: And what kind of doctor removes shoes from asses?

Sheldon: I have a masters and two PhDs. I should not have to do this.

Penny: Yes, I know men can't fly.
Sheldon: No, no let's assume that they can. Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial rate of 32ft per second, per second. Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel. Ms. Lane, who is now traveling at approximately 120 miles per hour, hits them, and is immediately sliced into three equal pieces.
Leonard: Unless Superman matches her speed and decelerates.
Sheldon: In what space, sir, in what space? She's two feet above the ground. Frankly, if he really loved her, he'd let her hit the pavement. It would be a more merciful death.

Leonard: I guess we'll just take [a TV cabinet] up [the stairs] ourselves.
Sheldon: We don't have a dolly, or lifting belts, or any measurable upper-body strength.
Leonard: We don't need strength. We're physicists. We are the intellectual descendants of Archimedes. Give me a fulcrum and a lever, and I can move the Earth. (Trying to move the box) It's just a matter of... I don't have this. I don't have this. I don't have it!
Sheldon: Archimedes would be so proud.

Leonard: Sheldon, this is not your home!
Sheldon: This isn't anyone's 'home'. This is a swirling vortex of entropy.

Leonard: Do you have any ideas?
Sheldon: Yes, but they all involve a Green Lantern and a Power Ring.

Sheldon: If you have time to lean you have time to clean.

Leonard: You're going march yourself over there right now and apologize.
Sheldon: Pfffft.
Leonard: What's funny?
Sheldon: That wasn't sarcasm?
Leonard: No!
Sheldon: Oh. Boy, you are all over the place this morning.