TV Quotes

Sheldon: Given how much time you spend engaging in pointless self-abuse, you might consider, just this once, using your genitalia to actually accomplish something.

Penny: Good morning, slut!
Leonard: What?
Penny: Oh, please! I recognise the walk of shame when I see it. All you're missing is a little smeared mascara and a purse with panties wadded up in it!

Amy: Well then, prepare to be terrified. If your friends are unconvincing, this year's donations might go to, say, the Geology department.
Sheldon: Oh no. Not the dirt people!
Amy: Or, worse still, it could go to the liberal arts.
Sheldon: No!
Amy: Millions of dollars being showered on poets, literary theorists and students of gender studies.
Sheldon: Oh, the humanities!

Sheldon: There are a lot more rich old ladies out there and Daddy needs a new linear accelerator.

Sheldon: An entire dinner to talk about your research? Where you going? The drive thru at Jack In The Box?

Sheldon: You seem to have forgotten the reason we live together is that we're best friends. And I've got your back, Jack.

Penny: We can't keep explaining everything. Read that book we gave you.

Sheldon: I think you have a real knack for gigolo work, Leonard.

Sheldon: Unlikely, but make your case. Keeping in mind your critical attitude is ruining our Saturday night together, and I'm not above minimizing your window.

Sheldon: It's not a touch phobia, it's a germ phobia. If you'd like to put on a pair of latex gloves I'll let you check me for a hernia.