Penny: Okay, well, what about Reiki? It's like massage but without touching.
Sheldon: Then what is it?
Penny: Well, I place my hands near your body and allow the universal energy field to manifest its healing powers. Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but it really works; ask Leonard.
Leonard: It really does.
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: [mouths] No.

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: My point is, while you're spending all this time on your own, building computers or practicing your cello, what you're really doing is becoming interesting. When people finally do notice you, they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought. And for those of you that were popular in high school, it's over, sorry. Thank you. Congratulations.

Bernadette: Why do you want to ride that stupid thing anyway?
Howard: I don't know. Maybe I just miss the freedom I had as a younger man.
Bernadette: What freedom? You lived with your mother. You had a curfew.

Howard: This is a twist. Usually you're the one getting called into H.R.
Raj: Yeah, now it's Amy. Who knew you were married to such a bad girl.
Sheldon: I suppose the signs were always there. I mean, she did recently go to that rave at the mall.
Amy: It was a Spencer's Gifts.
Sheldon: There was music and a strobe light. If that isn't a rave, then I don't know what one is.
Leonard: You don't know what one is.

Amy: Guys, come on, I think I'm in trouble.
Howard: It's no big deal. I used to get called into H.R. all the time. Ms. Davis is great. Pro tip: if you find strong women sexy, do not say it out loud.