Penny: Hey, how was your lecture?
Leonard: Oh, it was so good. I-I-I mean, it-it started great, and then the, the middle was great, and then the ending was like [imitates explosion]. So great.
Penny: Leonard, if you went to House of Pies again, just say it.
Leonard: [stammers] Wait, if you think I'm lying, why do you think I'm eating pies? Why don't you think I'm having an affair?
Penny: Listen, i-it's fine, just next time, bring me a slice.

Raj: [to Amy] If you were having Sheldon's baby, would you really want him in the room?
Penny: Yeah, if he's in the room when they're making the baby, I'll give you $10.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Wil Wheaton: All right, Professor Proton fans, get ready to meet Dr. Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, a pair of real-life scientists who may win the Nobel Prize. That's like the Kids' Choice Award, but with more science and less slime.

Sheldon: Kids' Choice Award? Why would they let kids choose anything? They're basically human larvae.
Wil Wheaton: Well, they are kind of our target audience.
Sheldon: Greetings, children. Toys, am I right?
Amy: He is. He has hundreds of them.

Wil Wheaton: So you two have discovered something that a lot of people are really excited about.
Amy: We have.
Wil Wheaton: Now, before you explain it, keep in mind that our average viewer is this many.