Leonard: No, I'm not going to reconsider. Your request was denied. I don't care if it helps you think; you don't need a koi pond in your office. Well, you should have thought about that before you bought the koi!
Penny: Wow. That was a little rough.
Leonard: Well, I have to be. Everyone assumes I'm just gonna give them whatever they want.
Penny: Hmm. But you're not, are you?
Leonard: No, I'm not. I mean, look at this. An espresso machine? I don't think so. Denied!
Penny: Wow, I really like this side of you.
Leonard: Really?
Penny: Yeah, just so decisive.
Leonard: Well, check this out. A standing desk. Denied!
Penny: Oh!
Leonard: If you want to stand, do it on your own time, 'cause I'm the boss.
Penny: Yeah, you are.

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: My point is, while you're spending all this time on your own, building computers or practicing your cello, what you're really doing is becoming interesting. When people finally do notice you, they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought. And for those of you that were popular in high school, it's over, sorry. Thank you. Congratulations.

President Siebert: So, there are some funds left in the general administrative grant, and I need somebody to decide how we should disburse them.
Leonard: Really? Wow, what an honor. Thank you. So how do I decide who gets the money?
President Siebert: How do you decide anything? Think about it with your brain, and then say it with your mouth.

Sheldon: All right, I've kept you in suspense long enough. "Dutch" is a bastardization of the word "Deutsch," meaning German.
Penny: What's German for "annoying"?
Sheldon: Nervig. Why do you ask?

Sheldon: This reminds me of a traditional Amish barn raising. With everyone pitching in.
Howard: How exactly are you pitching in?
Sheldon: I don't hear anyone else giving facts about traditional Amish barn raising.
Leonard: The rest of us are pitching in with hammers and nails.
Sheldon: Well, facts are my nails, and my voice is the hammer which pounds them through the wood of your skull.
Penny: Well, that is how it feels.