Sheldon: I'm sorry. It's, I'm trying to show you that I can change. I don't want you to miss out on things because of me.
Amy: I know you don't.
Sheldon: You know, and maybe somewhere out there, there is a little girl who will see you on Wil's show and realize that she, too, can grow up to be a brilliant, amazing, successful scientist.
Amy: Thank you.
Sheldon: Who is really terrible at chess.
Amy: Got it.
Sheldon: No, no, no. I mean really bad. What was your queen doing over there, going shopping?

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Amy: So, you're just gonna sit here by yourself and do nothing?
Sheldon: Of course not. I'm going to write mean comments about Wil's show online.
Amy: Well, you can't criticize something you haven't seen.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, are you familiar with the Internet?

Sheldon: Oh, Amy. Good, you're here.
Amy: Hi. What's up?
Sheldon: How would you like to be on television?
Amy: Is it gonna be a news story where I have to say you were quiet and kept to yourself and I'm as shocked as anyone?

Wil Wheaton: [on TV] It's time for Professor Proton's science joke of the day. Why can you not trust atoms?
Sheldon: Hmm.
Wil Wheaton: [on TV] Because they make up everything.
Sheldon: Oh, that's funny! Yeah, because they do. They make up everything.