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‘Spock, Kirk, and Testicular Hernia’ Quotes

Young Sheldon: Spock, Kirk, and Testicular Hernia

109. Spock, Kirk, and Testicular Hernia

Aired December 21, 2017

When George makes a deal with Sheldon to help Georgie prepare for a math test, Sheldon is the one who learns a surprising lesson from his brother.

Quote from Meemaw

Mary: Well, I'm gonna ask Jesus to help you get a good grade on that test.
Sheldon: Shouldn't you have asked him before he took it?
Mary: The man rose from the dead, I think he can fix a test after the fact.
Meemaw: You know, I hear you say things like that, and I wonder if maybe I did have a few too many whiskey sours when you were in my belly.

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Quote from Meemaw

Sheldon: Do you think a Spock could become a Kirk?
Meemaw: Well, in my experience, most people stay the miserable bastards they are their whole entire life.
But I have seen some folks change.

Quote from George Jr.

George Jr.: Oh, relax. By passing that test, I get to play football, and you get to go to the train store. Everybody wins.
Sheldon: But what about the truth?
George Jr.: What about it?
Sheldon: It's supposed to set us free.
George Jr.: Who told you that?
Sheldon: The Bible.
George Jr.: Since when do you care about what's in the Bible?
Sheldon: When it helps me win an argument.
George Jr.: The Bible also says honor thy father and thy mother. And if you open your mouth, you're gonna make them sad.

Quote from George Jr.

Sheldon: Before we start, I'd like to get a sense - of how much algebra you know.
George Jr.: 'Kay.
Sheldon: Do you understand solving and graphing - linear inequalities?
George Jr.: Sure.
Sheldon: Great. Explain it to me.
George Jr.: Uh, first you solve 'em and then you graph 'em.
Sheldon: And how do you do that?
George Jr.: Uh, you know, carefully.

Quote from George Jr.

Sheldon: What do you see?
George Jr.: Darkness.
Sheldon: Try harder.
George Jr.: Wait. I see Elle Macpherson in a bikini. Ooh, it just fell off.

Quote from Meemaw

Sheldon: I don't understand what went wrong. Is there any chance you drank alcohol when you were pregnant with Georgie?
Mary: No!
Meemaw: Well, don't be so high-and-mighty. I drank when I was pregnant with you. You turned out fine.
These days everybody's like, "Don't drink, don't smoke." I swear, Texas is turning into California.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: He had me. Somehow, the mullet-headed simpleton had me.

Quote from Meemaw

Sheldon: Meemaw? I assume you've read the Surgeon General's report on the dangers of smoking?
Meemaw: I'm gonna wait till they turn it into a movie.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: Despite my explanation that I was embracing my inner Kirk, my mother had me make amends for all my misdeeds. Starting in the library, where I had to reshelve hundreds of books. Well, to be honest, that one was a hoot.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: The amends got worse when Coach Wilkins made me climb the rope. Lacking any upper body strength, I hung there like a salami in a deli window.

Quote from Meemaw

Mary: Do you have any idea what's gotten into him?
Meemaw: I might.
Mary: Well?
Meemaw: Have you ever heard of Mobokachi Kaboom? Wait. Koshimaki Magoo. Wait a minute, I'm gonna get this.


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