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‘A Solar Calculator, a Game Ball, and a Cheerleader's Bosom’ Quotes

Young Sheldon: A Solar Calculator, a Game Ball, and a Cheerleader's Bosom

105. A Solar Calculator, a Game Ball, and a Cheerleader's Bosom

Aired November 23, 2017

When Sheldon helps his father use statistics to improve the performance of the high school football team, his popularity at school soars.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Tam: You're not?
Sheldon: I was touched 82 times this afternoon.
Tam: What do you mean, "touched"?
Sheldon: Not inappropriately. Joyfully. Affectionately. A cheerleader hugged me to her bosom.
Tam: That's amazing. [goes to high five Sheldon]
Sheldon: No more high fives. I can't keep washing my hands.

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Quote from George Jr.

George Jr.: Fourth down.
George Sr.: Gotta punt.
Missy: Gotta.
Sheldon: Statistically, always punting on fourth down makes no sense.
George Jr.: Statistically, you're a dumbass.

Quote from Missy

Missy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Trying to calculate the odds of the Dolphins covering the spread next Sunday.
Missy: I like dolphins. They talk out of that hole in their head.

Quote from Sheldon

Tam: Are you okay?
Sheldon: No, I'm not. [slides over his paper]
Tam: Yeah, so?
Sheldon: A B-plus that's the beginning of the end.
Tam: The end of what?
Sheldon: My life. If I don't make some changes, who knows how far I'll fall. I could wind up a drug addict, or a lawyer.

Quote from Sheldon

George Sr.: I got you a present. Thought it might help with your figures.
Sheldon: I don't need a calculator, Dad. I am one.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: In Texas, the Holy Trinity is God, football and barbeque, not necessarily in that order.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: How come Mom's not taking me to school?
George Sr.: 'Cause once in a while, your dad wants to spend some time with you. My little Shel-man.
Sheldon: But Mom's car has a backseat. Statistically, I'm much safer there.

Quote from Sheldon

George Sr.: Hey, I'm glad you brought up statistically. You think those numbers you talked about for Texas A&M would apply to my JV squad?
Sheldon: I don't see why not. Unlike our former principal, math doesn't discriminate.

Quote from Meemaw

Missy: Mom said you're not supposed to gamble.
Meemaw: Sleep, child!

Quote from Sheldon

George Sr.: I got something for you.
Sheldon: It's dirty.
George Sr.: Well, that's 'cause it's the game ball. And you earned it, 'cause you helped us win.
Sheldon: Okay, but can you wash it?
Mary: Sheldon, your daddy's telling you he's proud of you.
Sheldon: I see. Thank you, Dad.
George Sr.: You're welcome.
Sheldon: I'm still never touching that.
Mary: Let's go wipe it off.

Quote from Sheldon

Meemaw: Hey! There's my little Moonpie. Did you get a chance to look at this week's games for me?
Sheldon: Not yet.
Meemaw: You understand there's a little time crunch involved? Meemaw's got some outstanding loans I need to pay back.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, I have to finish my homework and then I have to help my dad.
Meemaw: Come on. I'm your meemaw. I make you cookies. How 'bout a little quid pro quo?
Sheldon: As much as I enjoy your use of Latin, no.

Quote from Mary

George Sr.: You think Sheldon's right?
Mary: About what?
George Sr.: The punting and the math.
Mary: I should think so. He's been doing our taxes since he's six years old. We never been audited.
George Sr.: That's true.
Mary: He even got us that nice refund last year.

Quote from George Sr.

Mary: I hope that doesn't wake up the kids.
George Sr.: Should I go over there and say something?
Mary: I think you should.
George Sr.: I was bluffin'. Don't make me put my socks back on.

Quote from George Sr.

George Sr.: Remind me to tell you about the tax refund I got from the IRS.

Quote from George Sr.

George Sr.: It's solar-powered. Can you imagine that?

Quote from George Sr.

George Sr.: Hey. Got to go pick up some equipment for the team; you want to join me?
George Jr.: Can't. I'm grounded.
George Sr.: Yeah, well I won't tell if you won't.
George Jr.: Sheldon going?
George Sr.: That little snitch? Absolutely not.
George Jr.: Sheldon still gonna help you with the math?
George Sr.: I don't think so. But I did hear his little Asian friend can do it.

Quote from Meemaw

Meemaw: Hey.
Sheldon: Hello.
Meemaw: So Oilers are a four-point favorite for this Sunday's game, but it's a home game, so I'm thinking I give the points. What do you think?
Sheldon: I think I have to tell on you again.
Meemaw: Go ahead. What's your mama gonna do, ground me?
Sheldon: Take the Oilers, give the points.
Meemaw: I love you, Moonpie.


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