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‘A Secret Letter and a Lowly Disc of Processed Meat’ Quotes

Young Sheldon: A Secret Letter and a Lowly Disc of Processed Meat

321. A Secret Letter and a Lowly Disc of Processed Meat

Aired April 30, 2020

Sheldon discovers that Mary's been keeping a secret about his future. Also, Meemaw is furious when she learns Dale fired Georgie.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: [v.o.] In every young man's life, there are milestones along the road to independence. Squashing one's very first bug.
Sheldon: Aah!
Adult Sheldon: Tending to one's own boo-boo.
Sheldon: Not today, germs. Not today.
Adult Sheldon: And preparing a favorite meal without one's mommy.

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Quote from Missy

Sheldon: Can you open this? I'm making spaghetti with hot dogs cut up in it.
Missy: You know there's a lady that does that for us, right?
Sheldon: Yes, but she's not here right now.
Missy: That's why I'm watching Oprah.
Oprah: [on TV] I would like to introduce each of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Leonardo...

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I also found this letter from Caltech. I wonder why she was hiding it.
Missy: So read it.
Sheldon: I'm not allowed to. It's not addressed to me.
Missy: Who cares?
Sheldon: The U.S. Postal Service is a government agency. Mail is protected by federal law.
Missy: I'll read it.
Sheldon: Don't. If you do, I'll be an accessory to the crime.

Quote from Sheldon

Missy: Interesting.
Sheldon: What does it say? No, don't tell me. Okay, tell me. No, don't!
Missy: Sheldon, if I tell you but you never look at it, then you didn't break the law, right?
[later:]
Janice: [answers phone] Law offices of Morris, Morris & Yorn. Janice speaking.
Sheldon: [on the phone] Hello. I'd like to speak to either Morris, Morris or Yorn.
Janice: May I ask what it is in regard to?
Sheldon: Well, I was slicing a hot dog...

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: [on the phone] So if I don't actually look at the letter, legally I'm in the clear? Thank you. This has been very helpful. And if in the future, you have any physics questions, Janice has my info.

Quote from Missy

Missy: Say cheese.
Sheldon: Cheese. [camera shutter clicks] Now tell me what was in that letter.
Missy: You're pretty cranky for a princess rodeo clown.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: [v.o.] I was angry at my mother and needed more information. While she told me to go to my room, she didn't say stay there. Boy howdy, I do love a loophole.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Dad.
George Sr.: What the hell are you doing here?
Sheldon: I need to talk to you.
George Sr.: How'd you even find me?
Sheldon: It's not like you come home smelling like coffee.

Quote from Missy

Missy: This is weird.
Mary: I think it's nice. We don't usually get to chat, just us.
Missy: Yeah, I guess.
Mary: How are things in school?
Missy: Fine.
Mary: Still having fun at baseball?
Missy: Mm-hmm.
Mary: So, any boys you like?
George Jr.: [enters] Hey.
Missy: Thank God.

Quote from Missy

Mary: Where have you been?
George Jr.: Trying to find a job, but no one's hiring.
Mary: I'm sorry. Grab a plate and sit with us.
George Jr.: I ain't hungry. [exits]
Mary: So, where were we? Oh. Boys.
Missy: Georgie, come back.

Quote from Sheldon

George Sr.: You ready?
Sheldon: Yes.
George Sr.: Okay, we're rolling.
Sheldon: Hello, Mother. I'd like to present my case as to why I should be allowed to go to East Texas Tech next year. And I'll keep it simple so you don't get confused.
George Sr.: Stop.
Sheldon: Something in my teeth?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I've put together a presentation detailing the reasons why I should be allowed to go to college, and I'd like you to watch it with an open mind.
Mary: I can do that.
Sheldon: Excellent. Is Meemaw here? I smell cigarettes.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Thank you for this opportunity to plead my case. And I'd like to thank my cameraman and driver, Dad.
George Sr.: What, I'm not even, like, assistant director?
Sheldon: No. Sit back, enjoy.

Quote from Sheldon

[on the video tape:]
Sheldon: Hello. I'm Sheldon Cooper, and this is Why Sheldon Cooper Should Go to College. I realize attending college in another state or country is unrealistic at this time. Which is why I'm proposing that I live at home but enroll full-time to continue my studies with Dr. Sturgis at East Texas Tech. I firmly believe that I'm ready for this next step in my academic life. But don't just take it from me...

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

[on the "Why Sheldon Cooper Should Go to College" tape:]
Dr. John Sturgis: Hi, Mary. I know this must be a hard decision for you. I can't tell you how to parent your child. I don't have children. But... I can tell you... that in all my years in academia, I've never seen a mind like Sheldon's. He's truly extraordinary. And if you let him come here, I promise we'll take good care of him.


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