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‘A Pineapple and the Bosom of Male Friendship’ Quotes

Young Sheldon: A Pineapple and the Bosom of Male Friendship

305. A Pineapple and the Bosom of Male Friendship

Aired October 24, 2019

After being released from the mental hospital, Dr. Sturgis unexpectedly breaks up with Meemaw.

Quote from Meemaw

Meemaw: Garden's looking nice.
Mary: Well, not to commit the sin of pride, but I know.
Meemaw: How did you come out of me?

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Quote from Mary

Mary: We need to have a talk. Georgie, get in here!
Missy: Are we in trouble?
Mary: No one's in trouble.
George Jr.: What's going on?
George Sr.: Have a seat.
Mary: You're also getting talked to. Sit.

Quote from Mary

Mary: Okay, Dr. Sturgis will be joining us for dinner.
Sheldon: Hot darn.
Missy: That guy's back?
George Jr.: I thought he was in the nut house.
Mary: We do not call it that.
George Jr.: That's what Dad calls it.
Mary: And that's why I made him sit.

Quote from Mary

Mary: We need to make sure that Dr. Sturgis feels comfortable.
George Sr.: And how are we supposed to do that?
Mary: For starters, do not bring up his time in the hospital.
Missy: What if he brings it up? You let the grown-ups handle that.
George Sr.: In this scenario, am I one of the grown-ups?
Mary: No.
George Sr.: Great.

Quote from George Jr.

Mary: You also will not stare at him during dinner.
Sheldon: Can I look at him at all?
Mary: Yes.
Sheldon: How long can I look at him before it's considered staring?
George Jr.: When I'm trying not to stare at girls, my rule is "two Mississippi".
George Sr.: I taught him that.

Quote from George Jr.

Missy: What?
Sheldon: Hey, it works. When I hit three Mississippis, she noticed.
George Sr.: See?
George Jr.: Told you.

Quote from Sheldon

Dr. John Sturgis: It's so good to see you.
Sheldon: I don't normally do this, but put her there.
Dr. John Sturgis: No mitten. I'm honored.

Quote from George Jr.

George Jr.: I got another one. In The Shining, Jack Nicholson goes nuts and chases people around with an ax-
Meemaw: One question each.
George Jr.: Dang it.

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Meemaw: Do you- I- Do you mean you-you really don't want to see me anymore? [stammers] Don't I get a say in that?
Dr. John Sturgis: Um... No.
Meemaw: Really? I-I kind of think I do.
Dr. John Sturgis: Connie, if I'm single and have another episode, it only hurts me. If we're together, that hurts you, and I can't do that again.
Meemaw: I have been waiting for you this whole time.
Dr. John Sturgis: Just more proof that you're a wonderful woman and you deserve someone you can count on.
Meemaw: Ugh!
Dr. John Sturgis: How about Ira from the furniture store? He's a catch.
Meemaw: Now you're gonna play matchmaker for me?
Dr. John Sturgis: I suppose I am.
Meemaw: You realize I could call him right now.
Dr. John Sturgis: I think you should.
Meemaw: You better mean it, 'cause I'll do it.
Dr. John Sturgis: No time like the present.
Meemaw: I'm doing it. I'm dialing.
Dr. John Sturgis: Great.
Meemaw: It's ringing.
Dr. John Sturgis: Tell him I said hi.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Mom, will Dr. Sturgis be coming over again?
Mary: Oh. Um, I don't know.
Sheldon: He should. We had so much fun talking about the mental hospital, we barely got to talk about science.
Mary: Well, I don't know what his plans are.
Sheldon: Is Meemaw coming for dinner tonight?
Mary: No. She is busy.
Sheldon: With Dr. Sturgis? Maybe I can join them. All my fun facts make me a welcome addition to any dinner date.

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Dr. John Sturgis: Well, here's a pineapple. It's a symbol of hospitality dating back to the 1700s.
Mary: Thank you. How tropical.
Sheldon: Dr. Sturgis, hello!
Dr. John Sturgis: Hi!
Sheldon: Ooh. Did you know the pineapple is a symbol of hospitality?
Mary: As a matter of fact, I did.
Dr. John Sturgis: You're welcome!

Quote from George Jr.

Dr. John Sturgis: Well, I realize being here after ending my romantic relationship with Connie is unusual. So, as before, I'm perfectly happy to answer any questions that you might have.
Missy: I have a question. Can I eat in front of the TV?
Mary: Sure.
George Jr.: Let's get back to The Shining. When them elevator doors open, oh, man.

Quote from George Jr.

George Jr.: How do relationships work for old people? When you were young, you didn't think old women looked hot. But now that you're old, do you?
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, that's a very interesting question.
Mary: Can I speak to you in the kitchen?
George Sr.: I want to hear the answer.
Dr. John Sturgis: I've always found your grandmother to be very hot stuff.
George Sr.: All right, let's go.
George Jr.: But you can see her wrinkles, right?

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Dr. John Sturgis: This is wonderful. Did you know the term "dive bar" originated because many establishments were below street level, and patrons had to essentially dive down to enter them.
George Sr.: Didn't know that.
Dr. John Sturgis: Well, now you do.

Quote from Missy

Sheldon: I didn't realize we were expected to take sides.
Mary: No one needs to take sides.
Missy: When Heather M. 's parents got divorced, she said it was like picking sides, but you get twice the presents.
Mary: This isn't a divorce.
Sheldon: And I'm sure Meemaw and Dr. Sturgis will still be friends.
Missy: Heather M.'s parents aren't friends. But now she's got Barbie's DreamHouse and the pink Corvette. You heard me.

Quote from Meemaw

Ira Rosenbloom: Oh, thank you. That looks amazing. I love ice cream.
Meemaw: Did you know that they used to use the anal glands of beavers to make it taste like vanilla?
Ira Rosenbloom: No. Where'd you hear that?
Meemaw: It's just something I picked up along the way.
Ira Rosenbloom: You okay?
Meemaw: Yeah. Let's eat pie.
Ira Rosenbloom: And maybe not the ice cream.

Quote from Dr. John Sturgis

Dr. John Sturgis: Excuse me! Everyone!
George Sr.: Oh, boy.
Dr. John Sturgis: I would like to propose a toast to George Cooper. I don't mind telling you I'm going through a bit of a rough patch, and this man went out of his way to take me here and listen to my woes. And George and I don't even know each other that well.
George Sr.: You heard it. Y'all heard it.
Dr. John Sturgis: But I just broke up with a woman. A beautiful, passionate woman. Adventurous. Sensual. Apparently, you're never too old for heartache. But tonight, I found solace in the bosom of male friendship. To George Cooper. [silence] Drinks are on me!
All: To George Cooper! [cheers]

Quote from Missy

Dr. John Sturgis: [snoring]
Mary: What happened?
George Sr.: Oh, I had a few beers. He had one.
Missy: Seriously? We can't get a dog, and this guy's still here?


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