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‘A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside’ Quotes

Young Sheldon: A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside

118. A Mother, a Child, and a Blue Man's Backside

Aired April 12, 2018

Mary bans Sheldon from reading a mature comic book, and Sheldon decides it’s time to stop living under Mary’s thumb.

Quote from Missy

Mary: And you are not to bring filth like this into our house again.
Missy: That's not fair. Sheldon reads dirty stuff all the time, and you don't say anything.
Mary: He does not.
Missy: Check out the comic book on his desk.
Mary: What? Oh, my goodness. Oh. Oh, my. Hold on. No. No. Th-This blue man's backside is all over the place.
Missy: On page 112, you get to see his front side.

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Quote from Meemaw

George Jr.: Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, can I have his allowance?
George Sr.: That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do.
George Jr.: Come on. We all know I'm your favorite.
Meemaw: You're not even his third favorite.

Quote from Sheldon

Mrs. Costello: Okay, let's see. What about Caltech in Pasadena?
Sheldon: I can't see myself living in California. I don't trust their carefree lifestyle.

Quote from Meemaw

Meemaw: Okay, here you go. I got you a shovel and a bucket and some gloves.
Sheldon: Did you check the gloves for spiders?
Meemaw: Is this my first day as Meemaw?

Quote from George Sr.

George Sr.: Looks like your house is okay.
Meemaw: You were just worried I might have to come live with you.
George Sr.: Oh, I think the word you're looking for is "terrified".

Quote from Missy

Mary: Hey, what you reading?
Missy: A magazine.
Mary: Oh. Making a collage for school?
Missy: No, just reading it.
Mary: Look at that. Maybe Sheldon isn't the only bookworm around here. Which magazine?
Missy: Cosmopolitan.
Mary: What?
Missy: It's a magazine for today's woman. [Mary takes the magazine] Hey! I was about to find out what turns a man on.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'm ready to go to college.
Mrs. Costello: Okay. Where you thinking?
Sheldon: Somewhere with a good science program, but far enough away to make my mom cry herself to sleep every night that I'm gone.
Mrs. Costello: You're applying to college out of spite?
Sheldon: I see why you're the guidance counselor.

Quote from Sheldon

Mrs. Costello: Um, how about MIT in Boston?
Sheldon: Do they have a strong physics program?
Mrs. Costello: They're more of an engineering school.
Sheldon: Next.

Quote from Sheldon

Mrs. Costello: Are you interested in applying to a safety school in case you don't get in?
Sheldon: Safety school. You're funny.

Quote from Missy

Missy: Boys are dumb.
Meemaw: D-U-M-B.
Missy: Dum-b?

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: My new adult responsibilities began that night. Luckily, a cookbook is nothing more than a set of instructions. And if there's one thing I shine at, it's following instructions.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: In that moment, I was so angry with her, I almost opened the jar.

Quote from Adult Sheldon

Adult Sheldon: When people wonder why Radio Shack eventually went out of business, you can point to this moment.

Quote from Mary

Mary: In the name of Jesus, I place a hedge of protection around this house and my family. I command this storm to skip over our home in Jesus' name. I wish peace to every single person in this room and declare that not one of us will get hurt in this storm, in Jesus' name!

Quote from Missy

Mary: Where'd you get this?
Missy: Heather. I traded a Fruit Roll-Up for it.
Mary: Well, this is going in the garbage.
Missy: You sure? It's got some great tips on how to spice up your marriage.
Mary: My marriage is fine, thank you.

Quote from Mary

Mary: Excuse me. Did you sell this to my son?
Glenn: I don't know. Who's your son?
Mary: The little boy in the corner.
Glenn: Which one?
Mary: Sheldon Cooper.
Glenn: Oh. Yeah.
Mary: Look at him! He is the same size as one of the dolls you sell here.
Glenn: Those are action figures.

Quote from Missy

Meemaw: You know, if I had something in my room she might disapprove of, I might be looking for a real good hiding place right about now.
George Jr.: I think I'm okay.
Missy: Your air vent? [Georgie rushes back to his room]

Quote from George Sr.

George Sr.: You're really holding the line on this one.
Mary: I'm sorry, but he just pushed my buttons.
George Sr.: Don't be sorry. I'm diggin' it.
George Jr.: Ew.
Missy: Gross.
Meemaw: I agree. Pretty gross.
George Sr.: Y'all are mean.

Quote from Missy

Missy: Maybe you're turning it the wrong way.
Sheldon: [straining to twist open a jam jar] Don't you have anything better to do?
Missy: Not better than this.
Sheldon: This is nothing a little science can't fix. All I need to do is break the pressure seal.
Missy: I don't think that was enough science.

Quote from Missy

Mary: So, how was everyone's day?
Missy: I cut open a frog at school.
Mary: For science class?
Missy: Sure.
George Sr.: We should put a lock on the knife drawer.


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